


Diving Lessons

by BirdBoneGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexuality, Breaking and Entering, Destiel - Freeform, Drugs, F/M, I Love Sam, I am so sorry, M/M, Swimming, and a flashback to Johns death, but he's a 14 year old idiot right now, highschool, loosely based on the plot of season 4, oh and Sam is kind of a dumbass in this, very very loosely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 22:34:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdBoneGirl/pseuds/BirdBoneGirl
Summary: After Castiel rescues Dean from drowning both of their lives are never the same.





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Undefined20Something](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undefined20Something/gifts).



> This is set in (roughly) 1998, so none of these people have cell phones. 
> 
> Dean is 19 in this fic and Castiel has just turned 18. Sam and Ruby are both 14 and 15 during the course of the year. I know there are some plot gaps, but I think it all makes sense. Let me know if there is anything that needs to be further explained!

"Here," Dean slung the bottle of amber at Sam, his breath making fog in the chill air. Sam caught it with ease, looking down at the beer with apparent skepticism. He glanced to Bobby to make sure that it was alright.

The old man, his beard a little grayer than it had been a year ago nodded. "Go ahead, Son. You two deserve it," Bobby allowed, keeping his face neutral as he pulled his own beer out of the cardboard carrier.

Sam smiled twisted off the cap and took a tentative sip.

"Well kid, you survived," Bobby intoned, turning his attention to the elder Winchester.

Dean snorted, running a hand through his strangely longish hair. He would have to get it cut. "I cannot thank you enough for everything Bobby, I don't even know-" He cut himself off shaking his head, and taking a deep swig of beer.

"Hey, family don't end in blood," he lifted the bottle high, with the saying that had become almost their motto. "You two are really all I have left," he added under his breath

Dean looked down at his hands, they shook slightly so he clutched the bottle tighter, "Still."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Idjit," he muttered taking a long gulp.  
Sam watched them, but said nothing and they all leaned into the parked impala, listening to the rush of water from the river. Frost glinted off bare branches and blades of grass along the hilly rivers edge. The little turnout they had found was next to a rickety old dock that jutted unevenly out into the rushing water. The highway above them, sporadic with cars on this icy evening. Words seemed to be useless here, so they all drank in silence watching the sun as the sun was turning the horizon and the surface of the water red and orange. Bobby raised his now mostly empty bottle. "To your first day of freedom."

Dean smiled, a smile that didn't exactly reach his eyes, but raised his bottle high anyway. Sam followed suit and they all drank till the bottles were drained. There wasn't much to say, and none of them seemed chatty. It was just nice to be in each others presence again.

It had been too long.

Bobby turned the car on, AC/DC was playing and they hovered around the headlights humming along. Dean started singing along, his voice a little out of tune and hoarse, but there was soul behind it. One song turned into five, one beer turned into six. Bobby passed out in the front seat, his legs sticking out of the open door. At some point the brothers barriers broke down enough that they were pushing each other around. Perhaps it was the beer, since they were both unused to the effects of alcohol. Perhaps it was just the need to test their boundaries with each other again, but somehow they got into a pretty intense shoving match.

Dean gave a hearty shove at his towering younger brother and the gangly teenager staggered back his footfalls turning from thuds to clunks as his boots hit the boards of the dock. Sam regained his stance, ready to show his brother just what he had grown into in his absence. Dean came after him and they got into a close tussle of arms and dancing feet.

It was stupid of them to be wrestling on an unfamiliar dock in the middle of nowhere. Any idiot could have told him that. It was stupid to let his brother, all six feet four inches of him, stomp all over rotting boards in the dark along the edge of a too full river in the middle of January. But after months apart they were too busy trying to reconnect to see their error.

Sam untangled from Dean's death grip, his foot connecting with the rotten boards at the end of the dock. He was caught completely by surprise as it gave way under his weight. Reaching out to his brother futilely, Dean watched as he fell into the black rippling waters and disappeared underneath.

Maybe it was a stupid decision, but for Dean in that moment, it was the only decision to make. He shouted out to Bobby, his eyes searching the river for signs of his brother. That he didn't know how to swim didn't matter, Sammy couldn't either, so he had jumped right in after him.

The water was ice cold, and he felt his lungs empty of air on impact. More from the intense cold than from the slap of the water. He had a moment of panic under the water, feeling like he was upside down. His skin felt like it was burning, but not, and his lungs ached as he clawed his way to the surface, turning in circles to find where his brother had gone. It was too dark to see, all he could see was the fog of his breathe.

He heard splashing and a rough intake of air to his left and he kicked his way in that direction, his arms splashing more of the thick icy water in his face. His heavy flannel layers were pulling him down, the cold cold water pulling him downstream. Please god, let me find my brother, you can take me instead, but let me save Sam, he thought as he searched with hands and feet and eyes for Sam.

It was purest luck that let him find his brother so quickly in the cold black water. Or maybe his silent prayer had worked, his flailing arms finding contact in mere moments of his searching. He grabbed onto his brother, for a moment just holding him then he realized he needed to get them to shore. His brain couldn't think more than that. So he hauled the freaking giant to the shore, legs kicking with every ounce of strength he had in him. Sam sputtering and coughing as he heaved his body out of the water. He pushed his brother with another shove, watching him start to crawl to the edge.

So, perhaps then it was the purest bad luck that pulled him back into the raging current, or perhaps god had taken his bargain. He made a grab at Sam's leg, but his fingers were too numb to find purchase. Certainly the last thing Dean thought before the current pulled him out of sight of his brother, was at least it's me and not him.

 

#  
Castiel slid his knees closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and letting out a foggy breath into the frigid air. He imagined he could still hear Michael and Gabriel fighting, though that was ridiculous, the house was all the way up the hill. Besides here on the dock all there was to hear was the current of the river and the crackle of dead leaves rustling in the wind from the old maple across the river.

And a shout.

Castiel narrowed his eyes letting his knees go, and pushing himself up into a kneel.

A splash.

An intake of breath?

Who would be out swimming at night in the freaking middle of January?

No one who wanted to be swimming, obviously, he answered himself.

Castiel got to his feet, scanning up stream as he quickly peeled off his coat and sweater in one smooth motion. Kicking off his baggy jeans, thankful he was just in his socks already. His skin tightened into gooseflesh. It was well below freezing tonight. He scanned the water, and caught the sight of something splashing and flailing in the weak light provided by the ancient light, scarcely affixed to a pole on the end of the dock. It was now or never for the poor bastard, and the sooner he got to him, the sooner he could be out of the frigid water. Still he knew that the river was mountain runoff and would be ice cold. This could kill him from shock. He didn't let himself hesitate.

If he died trying to save some random person, at least he had tried to be a hero. He vaguely wondered if his brothers would think he had committed suicide, or if they would even care.

What did it matter? One didn't just watch another human in need drown when they could do something. He ran to the end of the dock, his feet slapping against the frosted wood, and made a perfect swan-dive into the fast moving river.

The water was ridiculously cold. So cold, his skin seemed to burn as he entered the water. The air in his lungs seemed to be trying to climb out of his chest on impact. He clenched his jaw and came to the surface waiting till his face was all the way out before taking in a breath. He almost thanked his brothers for all the times they had thrown him in the river as a joke, for now, when it counted, he didn't let the water faze him.

He moved his arms and kicked his feet and kept himself together, punching out to the black surface of the water and taking in another controlled breath. Turning in a quick circle while he tread water to orient himself as the river pulled him along. As he left the weak yellow light of his dock he was plunged into darkness, so he heard more than saw the feebly splashing figure to his left. He ducked his head and crawled towards the drowning man. He was on him in a just a few strokes. Water safety classes came to the fore of his mind and he got an arm around the man's chest and hauled him onto his back so his head was out of the water.

The man was heavy, and fully clothed. The man was coughing and choking in his arms and at one point almost elbowed him in the nose.

"Calm down," Castiel commanded him, the cold making his voice rough, as he kicked them across the current. "Breathe. And if you-"pant"-have any strength left,"pant "kick a little, okay?"

The man grunted, but stopped flailing and even gave a feeble kick. Castiel could tell the man was half gone in shock. The cold and the exertion having taken its toll. Best to just think of him as dead weight and get them both to shore already. There was a little eddy just around the next bend, he would just have to pull them to the left bank and then a little back upstream. It was something he'd done a million times, just not usually with the dead weight of a sodden human in his arms. And it wasn't usually January.

It was even more difficult than he thought. The eddy was thinly iced over, so he not only had to kick against the current, but break ice with his shoulder as they plowed their way to the shore. As he forced his way against the ice, they crashed into something more solid and the man yelped in pain, but Castiel couldn’t worry too much about that and pushed forward. Then of course, he was laying in a muddy, icy reed strewn foul smelling pit with the dead weight of a half drowned man on top of him once he managed to get them to shore. Oh and it was 16 degrees and they were both all wet.

Just another Saturday night.

Still he managed to get his companion half way out of the water and his arm out from under the idiot in only a few tortuous minutes. They both lay there coughing for an interminable minute. Castiel managed to turn him so he could cough the water out of his lungs. They both lay there, panting, Castiel's arm around him as they both breathed in and out heavily. Once the man's breath slowed to a more normal pace Castiel pushed himself up and sat, knees to his chest, forehead pressed into his bare knees, muddy, exhausted and freezing. He sat there for a moment running his shaking icy hands through his hair. He looked down at the man, he was breathing heavy, but less so, his eyes popped open like a dead fish. Everything had a pale unearthly glow since the stars and a bare sliver of moon were the only light source out here.

Time seemed to stand still as he looked down on the man. An angel, he thought. 

Gathering his wits, he knew they couldn't just sit there in the cold staring, they would both die. He managed to get himself to his feet, though he had to crouch for a minute to steady himself. When he finally got himself to a standing position he could just make out the lights from his house, but that was now at least three miles up stream. There was no way he could haul this dying man that far. If he was where he thought he was, then there was another cabin behind the stand of trees up the hill. It wasn't lit, so the owners probably weren't there, but a house was a house. He would worry about getting inside when he got them there.

Any breaking and entering he had to do was in the name of survival and no one would fault him for that.

Three hundred feet was easier than three miles.

He bent down over the man, noticing there was a rip in the man's shirt on the shoulder. He placed his hand over the tear, he could feel warmth and liquid seeping through his shirt. 

One thing at a time. Shelter and blankets first.

"Hey, hello? Sir?" Cas said, slipping a hand under each armpit and hauling the man up the bank. "Any chance you have the energy to get to your feet?" Cas talked, but part of him didn't think the man was actually conscious despite his labored breathing. "I can help you, but the house is around the bend and up a small flight of stairs. I would prefer not to carry you the whole way." Just hauling the guy the rest of the way out of the mud was taking all his energy.

The man just continued to pant, grunting a little when he was dropped unceremoniously a few seconds later.

"Please?" Cas whined at him. His muscles ached and cramped in the cold and he was losing focus. Cold made one stupid and he couldn't afford to be stupid right now.

Another choking cough, but this time the man curled forward to cough more water out. "I"-cough-"can try-"

"Okay, okay. Good," Cas praised following his forward movement, hoping to use the man's momentum. "I'm gonna put your arm around my shoulder and then we are going to rock you to your feet, understand?"

The man nodded, then leaned over coughing up river water. Cas knelt down when he seemed finished and put his plan into action.

It took three tries, a lot of grunting and some sort of divine intervention, but he did manage to get them both to their feet. It was the most undignified thing Castiel had ever had to do, but it had worked.

The air was bitter cold. Every stray breeze hit Castiel's skin like tiny daggers, and he could feel his hair freezing to his ears. The man's jeans were stiff with ice and mud and kept chafing at his ankle and leg, but there was nothing he could do but keep them moving and upright. Several times he stepped on something that must have been sharp, but his numb feet could barely tell.

What seemed like an easy stroll in the summer, was a treacherous escapade in the winter. A few falls, and a tumbling walk up uneven stairs in the dark got them to their destination. The sign above the door proclaimed "The Crowleys" but the house was definitely closed for the winter. Who else but his nutty family would be by the river in January?

"And now to break in," Cas said sarcastically to himself, shivering now that he wasn't exerting himself. The man tried to extricate himself from Cas, but Cas held onto his wrist fast. If he let go now, he wouldn't be able to pick him back up. Besides he might freeze to death without the man's body heat up against him. He was only in his-frozen-boxers after all.

The man chuckled, "So we need to break down the door?"

"You can't even walk by yourself," He snapped at the man.

The man wiggled his fingers, "I can still pick a lock. And I feel fine, it's actually kind of warm out here." Again he tried to pull away. He felt his skin prickle in anticipation of the cold to come.

"That's the hypothermia talking.” Castiel told him calmly, his voice low and gravelly from the cold. “It makes you feel warm just before it saps all your heat. How 'bout we just break the window, yes?"

"It's your plan," the man said, sounding strangely like he was drunk. They were both exhausted and cold and their muscles weren't exactly working correctly. Cas had an ache in his shoulder from leaning over at such an odd angle, but he was too cold to let go and stand up straight.

"Umm, I don't really have uh, any protection-" The man raised an eyebrow at him which Castiel ignored, "think you could break it?" He kept looking at him skeptically, so he explained further. "You at least have something covering your elbow."

"Oh, right," His eyes raked Castiel up and down appraising him, and he was almost grateful he was too cold to blush. He leaned over and hit the window pain nearest the door handle with his elbow. Cas bounced from foot to foot and held his hands, numb with cold and rubbed them together. It took a couple tries, but finally the tinkling thud of glass breaking and hitting the floor awarded them. Shards stood out at dangerous angles. Sighing the man punched them out of the way as carefully as he could and reached through to reach the locks. The door unlocked they marched into the mostly unfamiliar house, carefully sidestepping the shards of glass in the doorway.

Castiel could remember being in this house only once in his childhood. He had been playing with his older brothers and they had accidentally thrown a baseball onto Crowley's roof and he had gone to fetch it. Or he was the one his brother had tricked into going. Old man Crowley was British and had made him stay for a cup of tea and a crumpet(which had turned out to be an english muffin). And for some reason had kept asking him where he wanted to be in ten years. It had all seemed vaguely sinister to Castiel.

He had decided to stay out of the man's path at all costs after that. The place looked pretty much the same as it had then. There was a recliner nearest the door and a long plaid couch around a big stone fireplace. Behind the couch was a staircase leading up, with a wood paneled wall. And there was wood stacked neatly by it. Small miracles.

"You should get out of those wet clothes," Castiel told the man as he collapsed into the recliner, shaking. He kicked the door shut behind him.

The house was as cold as outside, but at least there was no wind. Still, the man looked ready to faint. Kneeling down before him, he started to pull off the man's boots. He had to get him out of his clothes or he was going to go into shock. It wasn't an easy job as the knots in the laces were caked with mud and his fingers were shaking. Dean tried to lean over to help, but Cas swatted his shaking hands away.

"Clothes now," Cas ordered, staring him down. He leaned away, hands in the air as if surrendering.

"Is that-h-how you seduce a-ll y-our-" whatever that sentence was supposed to end with was cut short by his teeth literally chattering him quiet. He clutched his arms around himself again.

"I-I'm serious," Cas stuttered back, his own shivers starting to take over. He needed to get them warm and fast. Turning back to his task he tugged until the man's muddy shoes were off his feet.

He looked up and saw he had his shirt halfway over his head.

"You got that?" Castiel asked.

He heard what he took to be an affirmative, and quickly turned his gaze from the man's abs, to the fireplace. Cas listened as the man shuffled his clothes off and moved to the fire on his hands and knees, too cold and stiff to stand upright.

There was a small stack of precisely cut wood and three presto logs waiting next to the fireplace. Piling everything in the stack into the fire place, the presto logs on the bottom, he found matches among the kindling and lit match after match catching as much of the paper bags around the presto logs as he could.

He heard the man behind him, but didn't expect the weight of a heavy wool blanket on his back followed by rough hands rubbing his back and arms into the scratchy wool.

"Hey!" he cried trying to move away but he was too close to the fire to move forward.

"You're as cold as I am, you need circulation," the man scolded, but he stopped his movements, sitting down beside him with an audible thud.

"Oh, right," Castiel said, his eyes skittering away from the man as he pulled the blanket around himself.

"And you should probably..." he cleared his throat and licked his chapped lips, "remove your wet clothes." He finished, looking into the struggling fire.

Sighing, Castiel tried to keep himself under the blanket while he attempted to remove the wet boxers and tee-shirt. It was an impossible task sitting, and he had to muster to his feet to get his boxers off. When he sat back down he bumped into the man.

They sat there like that for awhile, watching the larger logs catch and flare up with little blazes. It wasn't exactly hot, but the air seemed less frigid. Still Castiel could feel the man was still shivering as her held the blanket to his chest.

"I-"Castiel began, and snapped his mouth shut. He could not ask this man that. 

"What?" He asked. Teeth still chattering. 

Castiel shrugged, trying to rub his arms with icy fingers without letting in a draft under the blanket. "It's just they say that the best way to get warm is to, uh, share body heat."

"Yeah, I guess I've heard that t-too." A shiver wracking his body, setting his teeth to chatter again.

They both looked at each other, eyes locking. His eyes raked him up and down and he licked his lips, pale with cold. This had nothing to do with desire, and everything to do with need. They moved at the same time, opening their blankets and Castiel came up under his arm, settling his arm behind his back. His arm swooped over Castiel's shoulder holding him tight, and he slid his other arm around his chest. At first his skin seemed colder than his own, but within moments the places their skin met seemed to warm. They spent a moment adjusting the blankets to prevent any draft and sat there shivering in each others arms.

The man laughed softly after a few minutes.

"What?" Cas asked after a while, not looking up at him. He felt foolish as well, but laughter seemed beyond him at the moment.

"I don't even know your name and here we are-"

Castiel chuckled with him then. "Castiel," he told him wryly, knowing the name will throw the man. It always did.

"Cas..." He rolls his name around his tongue. No one, not a single person, had ever given him a nickname before. Castiel shivers again, not entirely sure it's due to the cold. "I'm Dean."

"Hello, Dean."

#

He is surrounded by black water. Hands are pulling him down and down. He can't breathe. He flails his arms and kicks his legs but he can't find his way to the surface. Arms hold him tight from behind. He had to get to his brother. He had to-

"-Sam!" he calls out. His feet seemed to be on fire and he is under heavy hot sweat-sodden blankets.

And there is an arm wrapped tight around him. "Whoa, calm down Dean, calm-" comes an unfamiliar voice from somewhere behind him.

Dean whips his head around to find two intense blue eyes staring up at him. They are attached to a square jawed kid with mud caked black hair. He is also naked and pressed up against his back, his arm around is chest. They are laying a small rag rug, dangerously close to the fire.

He flips the blanket off of him and the boy next to him lets him go. Arms wide with a worried expression on his face.

"I have to find Sam..."

"Okay..." the boy says. Cas, his name is Cas.

The fire was still flickering away. How long had they been asleep?

It takes him a second to remember where he is and that he is standing there naked in front of another guy with nothing but a blanket on. He starts to shiver again, the boy gets up, holding out the thick wool blanket like wings on either side of him, Dean's eyes dart away from his dick, as he swings the blanket around to cover them both. The warmth is more than welcome. The body next to his is a bit awkward.

"You aren't out of the woods yet, my friend." He was only slightly shorter than him, and his arm stretched across his back just below his shoulders. His arms were muscular, and sweaty and blessedly warm. And his dick was pressed against his thigh. Dean tries to ignore this. They were trying to stay alive. Desperate situations and all that.

His teeth already chattering slightly, his feet stinging with cold standing on the still bare floorboards he accepted there wasn’t a better alternative. Sticky with mud and sweat and his bones ached. There is an uncomfortable stinging in his lungs every time he breathes from where he swallowed river water and for some reason all he wants to do is hold the boy in front of him for dear life. Not weird at all.

"Thanks. And, uh, Hi," Dean mumbles out. Memory returning more fully.

"Hello, Dean," Cas replies with a serious expression.

"Ummm...awkward."

Cas smiles at him and Dean feels like his chest is about to explode.

"So, Castiel..." Dean said, not sure if he was tense because of the cold or because of his proximity to the other man.

“So, Dean,” he mimicked him. They both chuckled. 

Castiel’s brow furrowed.

Cas looked around and Dean followed his gaze, they spotted a phone on the wall in the kitchen. “The phone must still work even if the powers off, right?”

"I would think so," Dean can't get his addled brain to work at all. The boy smiles at him again, then ducks out of the blanket. Dean watches him, unable to look away. He is lithe, with broad shoulders, his back is streaked with mud and he has bits of dried reeds in his messy hair. He quickly stoops and grabs up another wool blanket from the couch and throws it around his shoulders. Dean did not look at his ass as he did so. He just didn't.

Cas walked to the kitchen and pick up the receiver of the ancient looking telephone. "Dial tone!" He calls out happily. He punches in some numbers. "Hello? Gabriel? Yeah, it's me- No it's Cas. Castiel. Gabe this isn't funny, will you listen? I saved a man from drowning and we got- Yes, yes. Gabe. They did? Are they still- yes? Okay well bring them along- We got washed downstream and we are at the Crowley cabin. No, we are half hypothermic and- Can you give me to Michael you ass? You will? Can you bring warm things, clothes-" He got an exasperated look on his face, "Will you just-" Completely done. "Yes. Thank you Gabriel." Cas hung up the phone looking murderous.

"Gabriel can't even be serious for one second." Dean heard him grumble to himself as he marched back into the room. "Two men went to the house asking about you. They were searching the river bank. One of them was all wet and is taking a hot shower to recover from the cold." Dean felt something loosen in his chest, and his eyes started to water. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been. "My brothers will be here shortly. I suggest we sit by the fire till Micheal gets here."

Dean nods and lowers himself to the floor wrapping the blanket around his knees. Not wanting to poke the bear. Cas looks like he could murder someone. The fire is surprisingly warm, but not really warm enough to heat the whole room. He desperately wants the man to come back over so they can share warmth again.

Cas plops himself down next to him so their knees touch. "Body heat." He explains as an apology for being in Dean's personal space. Dean only wishes he would insist to get under the blanket with him again. He didn't even care if it was awkward. He was so cold it had seeped into his bones. But Dean just nods, scooting closer. At least he could do that without seeming strange. Mesmerized by the boy beside him, he had dark circles under his dilated eyes and sharp cheekbones. He couldn't tell if his muddy hair was dark brown or black in the strange orange red glow of the fireplace.

"Whose Sam?" He asks unexpectedly, cocking his head.

Dean's breath catches in his throat. "My brother he fell in the river, i went after him..”

Cas looks startled, moving as if to jump to his feet. "There is another person in the-"

Dean places a hand on Cas's shoulder, stilling him. "No-no I got him out I dove in and got him to shore but then the current, he’s the one who was all wet and taking a shower i suspect."

Cas relaxed into his touch and slipped his arms around Dean to calm him back down. When Cas's hand reached his shoulder he yelped. Cas let him go, concerned. Dean let the blanket drop off his shoulder, and saw a deep gash in it. Now with a bloody hand print over it.

Cas bit his lip as he examined it. "I think they are bringing first-aid supplies."

Dean nodded and winced as he pulled the blanket back over his shoulders. Cas huddled back down under his as well and the silence stretched between them.

They heard voices and boots crunching on the icy landscape. Flashlights shining at random angles through the windows.

Cas sat up a little straighter, and held his knees a little tighter to his chest. Dean wondered what his brothers would be like. Were they all blue eyes dark hair and intense gazes too?

He didn't have long to wait. Lights flashed outside and the sounds of vehicles pulling up greeted them. Boots clopped onto the wooden steps and up onto the porch within minutes. Dean and Cas just stared at each other, waiting. Eyes locked as if it were a staring contest. Three men in their twenties piled into the room carrying a duffel bag, a Thermos and flashlights. The shortest blond one waltzed into the room and actually struck a pose.

"I've always wanted to come into this place. The Crowley's are such dicks," said the shortest of the three, his hair long and tucked behind his ears.

"Cas, what the hell did you do the window?" Admonished the tall one with immaculate black hair and an icy blue stare.

"You two look like bloody hell," Added the other blond who was skinny and for some reason had a British accent.

"Well we just crawled out of there, so it makes sense," Dean quipped. The sarcasm slightly marred by his teeth chattering at the end. The door opening had let in more cold air.

"Fair enough," the British man's expression turned to one of grudging respect.

"Can one of you call my uncle? He's probably searching the sides of the river for me."

"You guys said they came to the house, why aren’t they here?" Cas exclaimed, almost dropping his blanket as he rushed over to them. 

"I already told them, you mad mud man! Get some damned clothes on." Castiel sat back on his heel and glared at the shorter man with a truly disgusted look on his face. Dean couldn't help but smirk at the display, his guardian angel was freaking adorable.

"They are on their way, Sam was in the shower, and the older fellow insisted on going back down to the River to look for you. Raph went down to fetch him." Gabriel asked, looking over Cas's shoulder as if he wasn't there. "They should all be here in a minute."

Dean nodded. Trying to imagine what the last hour had been like for them. He decided not to dwell.

The dark haired man came around with the Duffel and sat on the mud stained couch.

"We have clothes and towels. I can see if they have enough power to get you a shower here, or you can come back to our place it's just three miles up the road."

"Oh, well-" Dean tried to protest, but the thought of a hot shower was more than a little enticing. He was still half frozen and covered in mud that was beginning to chafe. The thought of driving another hour in the impala before they got home was a little unbearable.

"Did you bring the first-aid kit?" Chimes in Cas, suddenly inches from him again. "Dean gashed his shoulder on a log."

"What are we nursemaids?" asked the grumpy British man.

"Shut up Balthazar," Michael and the man who must be Gabriel, snapped at the same time.

#

Micheal, the eldest and the one that looked the most like Castiel, got everything in order quickly after that. Soon Dean found himself clothed, full of hot cocoa from a thermos, sitting under a flashlight while Michael cleaned and bandaged his wound. Gabriel, obviously bored with nothing to do, kept refilling his cup, insisting the sugar would help with the hypothermia. Dean was also sure the whiskey in it wouldn't hurt.

Castiel sat next to him on the couch, not saying much, except to contradict everything that Gabriel told him. Dean was hyper aware of his leg against his, though at least they were now clothed, if a little haphazardly. Dean was only wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Cas had a pair of loose jeans and a tank top, with his blanket wrapped around him still. Dean too had the wool still draped over his unhurt shoulder. They both had large thick socks on their still numb feet. The fire still cheerfully blazed in the fireplace, Balthazar tended it with mock enthusiasm and much snark.

"..and you know that Cas here-" Gabriel was still keeping up a steady stream of chatter, that Dean was only half paying attention to as Michael wrapped gauze around his arm.

"Shut, up Gabriel," Castiel growled, not for the first time.

"Seriously, Gabe, I'm trying to concentrate," Michael said, not looking up as he taped the edge of the gauze with a gentle pat. Dean winced anyway, but hid it behind the rim of the tin cup.

It was around then that Bobby and Sam pulled up, the familiar sound of the impala's engine coming to a stop making Dean look up.

"That must be them," Michael said, getting up.

Dean looked over at Cas and once again their eyes met. Time seemed to stop, and then he heard Sam clear his throat. Dean tore his eyes from the lad to find his brother staring down at him from an enormous height. His brothers growth spurt while he was away was going to take time to get used to. Sam had changed his clothes, but his hair looked damp and he had a worried puppy dog look on his face.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean greeted him casually, but was inwardly letting go of some of his tension now that he could lay eyes on him. Sam was okay.

Sam huffed out a breath of air, as if letting go of his own tension. Dean stood up,and was almost bowled over with the force of his brothers embrace. Sometimes the kid was a bit of a girl, he thought as he secretly wiped the tear from his eye when they let each other go.

Dean caught the sight of Bobby staring at him in wonder from the doorway. He looked tense, and worried, but relieved. Just like Dean felt. Dean knew the man probably couldn't take much more considering all he had put him through. But he gave him a nod of understanding and Dean felt a little less bad.

What a welcome home.


	2. Change Requires Paperwork

"Uh, Thank you...for saving me," Dean seemed to have to force the words out.

"You are welcome, Dean. I'm just glad god put me in your path." Cas said, aware of his brothers behind him watching the exchange.

Dean's eyes became hooded and skeptical at the name of God, but he nodded anyway.

"Yeah, I'll see you around maybe."

"Yes," Castiel replied, not truly believing he would ever see the man again. It felt like a deep loss. He’d only known the man for a few hours.

And with that he was whisked away by the red beaded man in a baseball cap and the taller than expected, brother Sam. He stared at the closed door for half a minute longer than was necessary, feeling inexplicably bereft.

"Well that was fun," Gabriel said scrubbing his hands together.  
"Let's get this place cleaned up. Gabriel, take Castiel home and throw him in a hot bath, will you?"

"Oh, 'goody'. I'll soap him up real good. You'd like that wouldn't you Castiel. Or maybe you'd prefer your new boyfriend," Gabe rambled, a mischievous look in his eye.

Michael glared at him, "Just get on with it."

Gabe rolled his eyes at Michael, but he still grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and dragged him out the door. Castiel, still a bit addled with cold, let himself be led. There was no point in disobeying. There never was.

Even when he wanted to.

Gabe, for all his bluster and teasing-he kept calling Dean his boyfriend- still managed to take care of him relatively well. Cas found himself under a mountain of blankets clutching a hot water bottle on the short drive home. Within the hour he had bathed and changed into extra layers of sweat clothes and was surrounded by three cups of hot steaming liquids as Gabe chattered at him about some girls he was dating while he sipped his own cup of hot chocolate. Cas could have cared less, but the tone of his brothers voice was soothing when he managed to tune it out.

"...I am glad you didn't die." Somehow Cas managed to hear the words through the fog in his head.

He looked up at his brother, and suddenly realized his brother had actually been concerned.

"Th-thanks Gabriel," Cas said roughly.

"I'm sorry our shouting match scared you out of the house...again," He added. 

"I'm not," Cas told him sincerely. "If it hadn't I wouldn't have been there to save him."

Gabriel snorted. "You have an odd sense of self preservation."

"Yours more than makes up for it," Cas told him. 

Gabe laughed. "Sometimes I forget how funny you are, brother." And he slapped him across the back, making him spill a bit of his hot tea. With that his brother bid him to get some sleep and left him there alone. Despite his exhaustion it took him a good long time to fall asleep. A pair of bright green eyes haunting his dreams.

~~~~~

 

The next day proved that even almost dying of hypothermia and being a hero couldn't keep his life from plowing ahead. In fact it seemed to precipitate events.

Michael called him to his study as he exited the bathroom that morning. Cas sighed. He had hoped to sleep in more before this encounter occurred. He mentally cursed Gabe and his unending cups of tea and cocoa for making him have to pee so badly.

The study was actually their fathers, but seeing as he was absent, Michael had set himself up there. Taking charge as was his want anyway. Though, Cas thought, his big brother was a little rudderless without father actually telling him what to do. They all were, frankly.

Michael pretended to ignore him for a full minute while he stood there between the two high backed chairs situated in front of the heavy oak desk.

Castiel kept his sigh to himself. He was used to waiting, so he waited. Simple as that. Patience was a virtue.

"Ah, Castiel," He pretended to suddenly take his notice. "Look, I wanted to commend you on your little...rescue mission last night. I didn't think you had such bravery in you." Cas narrowed his eyes waiting for the punch-line. When none came he was left feeling confused. Michael didn't give out compliments lightly after all, but surely there was more to this. He wasn't wrong.

"Now Raphael and I have been talking about...what we were talking about before Christmas. As you know there isn't..." And he launched into the same spiel as before. There was no money for school. Cas could choose to go back to the homeschooling program, or he could attend the local public school. The private school was now out of the question. Castiel wasn't surprised, he'd known as soon as Dad had left. Nothing was to be the same. He was actually just surprised that it had taken half the school year.

Then again his brothers had a hard time letting their baby brother out of the proud Christian tradition of going to the same private school they had all gone to. It was only a year and a half. He was sure he could survive the secular curriculum. It wasn't as if he needed all the religious instruction. He knew it all backwards and forwards. That's what happened when your father was also the local Pastor at the largest church in town.

His disappearance and the investigation into his disappearance had caused quite a scandal. At first it had brought the family together, but slowly the last six months had brought a constant discord until the three eldest had started fighting for dominance. Well three of the four eldest, as Lucifer was still in jail after he had been caught dealing drugs a few years ago. Cas knew that Raphael still visited him every month. No one else did and they weren't allowed to talk about him.

"So it's your choice, Castiel, but the new term starts in a week and we need to get you signed up one way or another."

"I'll go to the public school Michael. Maybe I can do some good there."

Michael smiled, it was a charming smile. "That's my good little soldier. Warriors of God, right?"

Castiel smiled back, it was a tight smile that he didn't feel he still missed his father something fierce. These little reminders of him hurt, but they also felt like a benediction. Wherever his father was, he hoped he would come back soon. His brothers were flailing without his guidance and firm hand.

 

#  
Dean stared down at the papers in front of him, they seemed to retract and then come into focus at intervals. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. More red tape. He tried to let out his pent up breath, but ended up burping loudly. He grabbed up his beer bottle, one of about six on the table, and found it empty.

Maybe working on this stuff half drunk wasn't the best of ideas. He upended the beer over his mouth to catch the last drop. What did it matter anyway. It wasn't as if it made any difference. The system wasn't going to help him. Why did he think he was worth helping anyway?

The screen door opened with a squeak and Bobby came strolling in wearing his dirty blue coveralls and looking like he'd been wrestling a squid.

He nodded at his godson, and walked straight the fridge. He grabbed a beer without looking inside the ancient thing, opening the bottle with practiced ease at the wall mounted bottle opened. He sauntered over to join him, sitting down with an old man sigh.

"How's it going?" Bobby asked, eyebrows high.

Dean glared up at him, "It's like every question..." words failed him at just how fucking stupid this stuff was making him feel "it's fine." He covered, straightening the papers as if that would somehow organize what was on them.

Bobby gave him his, ‘yeah right’ face and took a swig of beer. "Want me to look it over for you?"

Dean stiffened, "I got it Bobby."

"Dean look, I know this has all been shit lately. And I know what a mind-fuck those forms can be. Let me at least help you with the stupid forms. I've been filling out shit like that a lot longer than you."

Dean let out a bit of pent up breath, trying to ignore the stinging feeling in his eyes and the decidedly treacherous tear that leaked out. He scrubbed a hand over his face to dispel the tear, hopefully unnoticed.

"It's not-" he choked a bit but powered through "it's not the paperwork Bobby. It's just...what if they don't give me custody? I'm now an ex-con."

"No, son. You were acquitted," Bobby sternly corrected him.

"That doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that I spent six months in jail."

"Our messed up judicial system is why you spent six months in jail. And it does matter." Bobby said, setting his now half empty beer bottle down with a loud clunk. "It matters a great deal. Finish that paperwork and tomorrow you can go talk to someone about what to do next. In the meantime I am Sam's guardian and we can go on like this as long as we need to."

"I don't want you to have to do all this Bobby. It's not fair to you."

"Fair?" Bobby looked at him with an expression that was half amusement have incredulous. "Boy, none of this has been fair. I'm trying to balance the scales a bit. I told you before, family don't end in blood. You are welcome here as long as you need. Why don't you put that away for now and come take apart this damned range rover. Some manual labor will help."

Dean resisted the urge to crumple the papers in his hands and instead slid them back into the manila envelope. Bobby shot-gunned his beer and then they went out to the junkyard together.

The night was cold, or maybe he just still hadn't warmed up. It had been almost week since he had fallen into the river and he found that he just wasn't quite able to stay warm. He also wasn't sleeping, but that was hardly new. He had been on high alert for so long it seemed like a normal state of being. What was new, were the dreams. Dreams of drowning, dreams of extreme cold. And dreams of a blue eyed man bringing warmth and light back to him. Some part of him was now associating being warm with that man. With Castiel.

He would probably never see him again. He didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about the man. His guardian angel.

Bobby led the way to the tin sided garage where he fixed up old junkers, or tore them apart. Right now he had the frame of some ancient rusted beast, stripped down to nothing but an engine and some iron frame. Still it looked sturdy, the engine was in good shape and it actually had some potential.

Dean let out a low whistle. "Damn Bobby, what are you doing?"

"Starting from scratch. Actually, it's for you. I have about five of these things in the yard and I reckon between them we have one car. I was going to let you put it together."

"Bobby..."

"It's a job. We sell the car at the end and it's a nest egg for you and Sam. I don't have much Dean. But you have serious skills when it comes to restorations. Look what you did to that Impala, and that was two years ago. I can't give you money, but I can give you a job. One that will pay off in the long run. She's yours if you want her."

"Bobby I can't keep taking-"

"Listen, boy. Life isn't about much more than family, as far as I can see. When your father started leaving you boys here with me, you became that. I'm not going to sit back and give you nothing. So, like I said. This here, is a present." He then nodded to the modern looking car sitting next to it, "That is the job we need to finish tonight. Just needs some new breaks and a tune up. I'll pay you a decent hourly."

Then he grabbed up an oil stained coverall and threw it at him.

"At least I won’t be cold," He said looking at the bulky lined thing.

"You would do well to not fall into any rivers in it though. You really would sink to the bottom."

Dean tried to chuckle, but his throat seized up at the thought. He didn't let Bobby see his discomfort however, turning away as he got into the coverall.


	3. First Day of School

When Castiel spotted the familiar long red hair he almost turned on his heel and walked back out of the school. No. He berated himself. He couldn't avoid her forever, he knew she would be here. The confrontation could have waited till he had been there more than five minutes, however.

Not wanting to be caught unawares he decided to be the one to initiate contact. Some things were worse when avoided.

So he marched up to her. "Hello, Anna," He intoned calmly behind her, standing completely still.

She actually jumped at the sound of his voice, her hair twirling as she swung around.

"Jesus," she cursed as her eyes fell on him. 

“Not quite,” he sassed her. 

"Castiel! What are you doing here?"

She actually looked over his shoulder as if she were expecting him to have an entourage. Maybe she was. He was usually with his brothers after all. Or others from the church. It was actually kind of odd being all alone in a secular school surrounded by people he didn't know.

"I go here now," he told her with a shrug and a duck of his head.

Anna looked bemused, but then her face got serious and she nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I guess after your Dad..."

Cas nodded, wanting to leave more than anything now, but having no polite way to do so. Still it was oddly comforting to see her. A familiar face in the unfamiliar setting. Maybe he could even admit he sort of missed her, though he knew he shouldn't really be talking to her. Not after what she had done.

"Well I guess I'll-" Cas was interrupted by Anna looking over his shoulder with sudden interest.

"Winchester!" She exclaimed and without warning, she was being picked up in a hug by a tall gentleman with close cropped dirty blond hair and flannel. It wasn't until he'd set Anna down that he recognized the boy as the one he'd pulled from the river.

Castiel froze in place, feeling his face heat remembering that the last he had seen him they had both been stark naked under a blanket together.

"Anna! Good to see you," Dean was smiling down at her.

"Glad your back, hasn't been the same here without you," Anna was saying, Cas could barely hear over the ringing in his ears.

Dean smirked at her fondly and Cas found himself fidgeting as if his skin was too tight. Then he looked over and finally noticed him, his eyes went wide.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel greeted him with a slight nod, feeling apprehensive. Desperately wanting to shift from foot to foot but keeping his feet firmly planted to the ground. Sometimes his training came in handy.

"Cas!" and he was shaking his hand and patting him roughly on the shoulder. As if he were trying to make sure he was real "You go here? I-"

"First day," Cas explained with a shrug.

"Nice," Dean nodded smiling, his eyes roaming all over him. "My first day back too," he admitted.

"Oh," Cas said.

Then he finally looked at him and they stood there awkwardly staring into each other eyes before Dean cleared his throat roughly. "...in fact I have to go talk to the counselor or something stupid. I'll uh, catch up with you two later." He said awkwardly and melted into the crowd of students. Cas felt like he'd been caught in a mini tornado.

Castiel slowly started marching away, knowing his cheeks were still red.

Anna caught up linking elbows with him, not letting him escape. "Okay," she said seriously "how, in the hell, do you know Dean Winchester? I thought you never left your fluffy white cloud."

Castiel frowned at her, annoyed. "It's a long story-"

"Castiel Novak," She tried to pull the angry mother voice, stopping in her tracks to face him. Still linked in her arm, Castiel stopped too.

"Anna Milton," He replied in kind. He was sort of done with the girl. "I need to find my first class."

Giving me her best annoyed face she let him go. "Okay fine," Cas relaxed again. "You are eating lunch with me," she told him as she walked away.

"Fine," he agreed calmly, waving at her as he walked away. There was no use arguing. It's not like he knew anyone else here. Still, she made him uncomfortable like an itch he couldn't scratch. Instead of examine that feeling, he blinked and made his way to home room.

 

 

#  
Once out of sight Dean leaned up against the bank of lockers and let out his pent up breath. Of course his damned guardian angel was here. Just one more thing to make his senior year, his second year of senior year, that much better. He could make it through the semester. He would make it through if it killed him. He nodded at a couple familiar faces. He wondered how many of them knew where he had been. From the reactions so far he thought, none. Small miracles.

Orienting himself he went to the corner of the building with the offices. A woman in a gray power suit with immaculately coiffed red hair sat waiting for him in the counselor's office. She gave him a tight official smile.

"Dean Winchester," she said his name with a strange familiarity tinged with amusement and not a little annoyance.

This of course, wasn't their first meeting, though it had been over a year since the last. "Ms. Goodman."

"I'm your counselor Dean, you may call me Naomi." It was Dean's turn for a tight smile. He nodded as he sat in the chair she indicated, in front of her desk.

"Thank you for seeing me today," Dean said nervously when she sat there, hands clasped, not saying anything.

"Of course Dean, we are here to help all our students, even ones in such," she searched for the right word, "unique, circumstances," Did everything that came out of this woman's mouth sound like it was written by a polite robot?

"Right," Dean said, looking at his hands. Still put off by any mention of his 'unique' circumstances. "Well, I was told, when I wrote to the school that I would be allowed to return to finish my senior year. I took some courses online, but I still need to finish-"

"Let me stop you right there Dean," again with that tight smile. "I understand that the scenario you were in was out of your control. And that all the charges against you were dropped." She pursed her lips in distaste. "But we do have to take some precautions, we don't want you to think you can just skate in here and everything will be as it was. I mean," he face turned into the picture of motherly indulgence. "It isn't as if you were a model student before you left."

Dean swallowed back the bile rising in the back of his throat. The specter of his teenage self rising to the fore. That Dean would have stormed out of the office. Maybe thrown something at the woman who dared insult him. Even if what she said was true. Especially, because what she said was true. But he didn't. He took a deep breath, held back the anger on a tight leash and listened to her with a rising sense of dread.

"I wasn't a great student. No. But what I've been through-"

"Prison." Naomi said bluntly. So much for her overly diplomatic manner.

Dean held on to the leash even tighter. "Yes. Prison. It was a bit of a life changer. As was losing my father and almost seeing my brother killed." That took the smug look off of her face. "I only need two classes to graduate. It would make a big difference in the type of jobs I can apply for to take care of my brother. Sam is a great student and an asset to this school, so you can understand my want to be able to take care of him the best I can."

Her face went through a multitude of changes. From shock, to concern, to anger then to amusement?

"He may have been a stellar student in Middle School Dean, but I'm afraid your brothers grades...haven't been up to par since coming to our establishment." She plucked a document off the desk, as if she had had it ready for their meeting. She didn't even pretend to look it up. She handed it to him. It was Sam's first semester report card.

It was abysmal. "This can't be right," Dean said, looking at her, shocked.

"I assure you, those are the grades his teachers assigned him."

"Sam. Sam Winchester?" He asked her, sure there was a mistake.

"Yes. Dean."

"This isn't-" he stopped himself before he said it. This wasn't the report card he had received in prison. Sam had obviously forged it and sent him the straight A's he'd been expecting. "He's really failing English?"

"His attendance has been spotty, at best."

"But he gets the work done, right?" Dean felt like everything was upside down.

"You would have to consult with his teachers." Naomi said, spreading her hands with a smile that didn't really reach her eyes.

"I will," Dean huffed out, sure there was a mistake.

"Only his legal guardian-"

"I am his legal guardian," Dean interrupted. More than a little confused. Why had she shown him his brother's transcripts if she didn't know that? This meeting was going completely sideways.

"Okay, then I really need a better job to stabilize our household. All I need is your signature on the classes." He held out the folded up and crinkled paper he had been keeping in his back pocket. She took it from him, but not without putting her nose in the air at it.

"I'll have to get the principal's approval," She said after a long minute or pretending to read it. "You can come back next week."

"But won't the-" semester already have started, he was going to say. But she cut him off.

"Next week Winchester. Same time." And she shoo-ed him out of her office.

Dean stood there in the middle of the busy administrative hub clutching a report card in his hands feeling like all his careful plans were unraveling at the start. He huffed out a breath to stop any tears from threatening and marched out into the school. Classes had just gotten out of 2nd period and he practically ran right into Sam.

Sam startled when he saw him, almost dropping his books. Dean gave him a bitch face. "Dude, nice way to greet your brother."

"I forgot you were here today," he said defensively, then smiled at him. "You startled me."

Dean relaxed, he was just on edge. "I know. Sorry. You alright?" he stuffed the report card into his folder of papers he hadn't gotten around to showing Naomi.

"I've been fine for months, Dean. I'm fine now," a bit defensive. His eyes didn't meet his brothers, he looked over at the clock on the wall, "I better get my ass to class," He said, hunching his shoulders and walking away. Dean watched him go, suddenly worried about him. He had thought his brother had just reached moody teenage status, now he wondered if it was worse than that.

Looking at the time he decided to go wait in the cafeteria for lunch. He would see if he could talk to his brother over lunch then head home. Maybe Bobby would have a job for him this afternoon if he was lucky. If not he would have to go out and apply for more jobs. But who was going to hire a 19 year old high school drop out with a history of being incarcerated?

 

#  
Small warm hands snaked up the back of his shirt making his whole body tense, but he let her do it anyway. "Ruby!"

Smirking Ruby tickled him and leaned up against his locker, her dark straight hair framing her perfect face. "Oh, come on Sammy, you love it," Sam glanced down the hall as if he could see around the corner where his brother had just been, pretending to take his time opening his locker. He did love it. It was kind of a problem.

"Just be careful when Dean's around, okay?" He pleaded, gritting his teeth.

"As if I would. Are you always so high strung around him?"

"I'm just not used to him being around, it makes things...complicated," Rolling her eyes was the girl's favorite expression.

"Hey, I know it's been tough. But just remember who got you through them, alright?"

He nodded shutting his locker door with a crash. "Yeah, I know, Ruby."

"You could say thank you."

"Yes, thank you, Ruby. I have to get to class."

She raised her eyebrows seductively and practically skipped away, dark hair swinging behind her. Sam pulled at his pocket trying to situate the growing problem in his pants that he couldn't seem to control around the girl. At least he had his books to hide behind.

 

#  
Apparently wherever Anna went Dean followed her, because when Castiel walked into the cafeteria they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. He almost turned around and went to eat in the hallway with the other outcasts, but Sam, Dean's little brother spotted him and he had to go over to say hello.

"Cas, right?" Sam asked as he approached the table.

"It's Castiel actually."

"Cas, sit, join us," Dean commanded the situation as easy as breathing. "You know Anna, apparently, and this is my little bro, Sam. You met for like a minute, I guess." He cleared his throat.

Castiel nodded all around, "Nice to see you again, Sam."

"Will someone please tell me what in the world happened over break?" Anna pleaded looking from face to face, practically bouncing up and down on the bench.

Dean met Castiel's eyes and time seemed to still around them. They really were an impossible shade of green, brought out by his army green tee. Cas noticed he had an idol on a leather band around his neck, he hadn't been wearing it when he had saved him, but it seemed like a part of him. He also had leather bands on his wrists and several rings. He wouldn't have pegged this Dean as the type to accessorize, but it suited him somehow. It made him all the more intimidating.

"Er," Cas said, breaking eye contact awkwardly.

"Cas uh," Dean wasn't any more help than Cas was.

"Castiel saved my brothers life a week ago," Sam cut in giving them both an exasperated look.

"What?" Anna looked from one to the other. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Castiel dove into the ice cold river and pulled him out."

"Why was Dean-" she turned to Dean, "Why were you in the river?"

"Cause Sammy's a dumbass," Dean said, giving his brother a face.

"It was an accident!" Sam said a little over defensively.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, this idiot fell in the river trying to stand up or some shit so I had to go in after him. You know, cause he can't swim."

"Neither can you, Dean," Sam shot back, annoyed.

"Yeah well,it was below freezing. I wasn't going to let you drown my first night free, so I dove in after him. Dragged his sorry sodden ass to shore and got swept downstream."

"And Cas swam after you?" Anna, was all over the story as if it was a campfire horror story.

"Uh...actually," Dean started, then gave Cas a once over with his eyes, "how did you save me?"

"God's will, I guess," Cas shrugged. Three sets of eyes bore down on him for that comment. He was used to believers around him. Anna was obviously not the only doubter at the table. They waited. He supposed her better give a better explanation. "I was sitting on our dock, out by the river cause...well that doesn't matter. But I heard someone shouting and splashing and knew I had to do something, so I, uh, dove in after him."

"Let me guess, you can't swim either?" Sam asked. Sarcastic.

"I'm a competitive diver and was on the swim team at my old school," Castiel deadpanned.

Anna grinned at him. "He's really good too. It's like he's flying, I swear." Castiel felt himself blushing and wanted to freaking disappear. Nobody made fun of him though and Anna continued. "So you dove into a freezing river, in January, to save a complete stranger? That's pretty bad-ass, Castiel. Didn't know you had it in you."

Cas fidgeted on the bench, he wasn't used to this kind of attention. "I only did what was right."

"Dude, I would be dead right now. Seriously I owe you, man," and he slapped Cas across the back, making him jolt forward.

"Next time I am dying you can save me." It sounded even more stupid coming out of his mouth than it had in his head.

"Deal." Dean smirked and held out his hand. Cas gave it a hearty shake. Castiel wasn't certain, but he thought that maybe he had just made a friend. At least he hoped so. Something about Dean made him want to get to know him.


	4. The Kids are Not Alright

"He's really alright, Bobby?" Sam stills his progress down the stairs as he hears these words coming from Dean in the Kitchen.

"Look. You two have been through a lot this year. He's struggling with all of this, but he's coping," Bobby replies gruffly, the sound of a beer bottle opening follows his words.

"I've just never seen him get anything less than a ‘B’ in any of his classes before." Ruffling papers. So Dean had found his report card. Great.

"He's growing up, Dean and he hasn't had you around. I'm sure now that you're back things will be easier."

"I just wish-" there was a thud as if Dean had brought his fist down on the table in anger.

"Look kid, I'm not your Father, but listen to me. You did what you could. More than you should have if you ask me. You are here now, stop dwelling on things that can't be changed."

"If I can't change things, then what's the point?"

"Your Father didn't let things go and look where it got him." Bobby said, and Sam could just imagine Dean's face. It would be still and full of rage.

"Bobby, I love you like an uncle, but if you ever say anything like that about John again, I will-" The last time Sam had heard that tone in Dean's voice he had shot a man in the head. It sent a shiver up his spine and he sat down on the stair clutching the railing as memories seemed to flash before his eyes.

The smell of sweat and dust on Azazel's arm around his neck. Whispering in his ear, how he was going to be his new protege, all he had to do was kill his brother and everything would go according to plan. How good he was. How perfect. He was going to be better than any of his other children. He had great plans for him.

Dean suddenly appearing in the living room, hands clutching an old fashioned gun. His voice cold and calm, his stance sure and his hands steady. Dean's voice a low growl. "You let him go, or so help me I will send you back to hell."

Azazel had laughed, but only for a split second as the gun went off. Sam had tried to duck, but Azazel held him tight as if that would protect him from the perfect head-shot. The feeling of blood spattering hotly across his cheek and ear. The feel of the man going limp around him, dragging him to the floor.

"You'll what, Dean?" Bobby's voice cut through Sam's reverie. Sam lifted himself up off the stairs and slid down the last few, leaning up into the hollow between the hall and the kitchen "You cool your jets, Dean. I'm going to bed. Idjit."

Bobby glared at him as he passed Sam hiding behind the wall next to the staircase. "Both of you." He muttered as he climbed the stairs with heavy feet. Sam peeked around the corner. Dean was sitting with his back to him at the kitchen table.

"There's root beer in the fridge." Dean told him, not turning around.

"I can explain the grades-" He tried, Dean didn't let him.

"Sam, it doesn't matter. I don't care about your grades." Sam walked past him. Oh, he didn't care, his steps slowed. Of course Dean didn't care. Nobody cared about him. Except maybe Ruby. And he wasn't confident about that either.

"I'm worried about your grades, because I know you usually do care. What's going on man?" Dean sounded so desperate and whiny. It made him want to punch something. Or someone.

Sam felt his throat constrict uncomfortably and his heart seemed to be trying to beat out of his chest. He felt a cold sweat breaking out across his forehead. It was getting worse. How could he face Dean in this state? He needed to see Ruby, tonight. He wiped his forehead with his forearm, hoping the flannel shirt will soak up most of it before Dean saw.

"Look, I don't know. I just can't seem to care lately," He says hesitantly as he opens beat up old fridge. It is chock full of beer, there are about four cans of root beer to one side. His hand twitched towards the beer.

"All you do is care about things. Seriously. What gives?" Dean pushed, waving papers at him.

"What am I supposed to say Dean?" Sam slams the fridge shut, soda in one hand, beer in the other kept hidden with careful placement away from Dean's view. The fridge rattles with the sound of clinking glass. "It's been a crappy year and no offense to Bobby but he isn't exactly someone I can talk to about...things. I'm doing alright."

"I'm here now. You could talk to me," he looks sort of pathetic sitting there, trying to act like a father. Failing at it miserably.

Sam felt a stab somewhere in the vicinity of his heart. His hands started to shake around the can as he paused in the doorway. "I'll keep that in mind." And he walked away. He heard Dean curse under his breath as he hurried back up the stairs. He couldn't care about that right now.

As soon as he is in his room he opened the beer and downs half the bottle. It doesn't really take off the edge, but he still feels better having it. Even if he drank everything in the fridge it wouldn't help. He lay there, eyes on the ceiling, drinking down the beer in steady gulps. It barely did anything to take off the edge. He knew what he needed.

He went to the phone on his bedside table and dialed the number. 

It rang and rang. No answer. Was she doing this on purpose? He tried again. Just when he thought it would go to the machine, she answered.

"Well hello, Sexy. To what do I owe this pleasure?" She drawled at him. He could picture her pouting lips forming the words. Her long black hair framing her face.

"I need more," Is all he said. Curt, emotionless. While his insides squirmed. While he pictured what she had been wearing at school that day. Her tight jeans and tight black t-shirt. Her leather coat on the floor.

"And here I thought you actually liked me," her voice low, hurt. But that fake sort of hurt as if she were just playing with him. She was playing with him. He knew that.

He just couldn't make himself care that much.

"I do, Ruby. I just-" his voice caught. "I'm shaking and sweaty and it's been over a week."

"You haven't been exactly available lately, big boy. Not since big brother returned." She made it sound like Dean was a menacing government agency. Maybe she was right. He did seem to have him under constant surveillance. He would find a way. It was important.

"Look, I think I can sneak out tonight." His eyes darted to the door, as if he could see through it. "Dean seems like he might leave me alone tonight. I bet I can sneak out." He willed himself to believe his own words. He had to make it happen. He had to have more.

There was a long pause "Meet me ‘you know where’ with ‘you know what' and we'll talk." She made it all sound hesitant as if it might NOT happen.

"Just talk?" He heard his voice crack. Why did she have to deny him when he felt so strung out.

He could almost hear her lips curl into a smile. "Maybe more than just talk, big boy. I'll see you at midnight," and the phone clicked dead.

Sam put down the cell with a still shaky hand, but somewhat feeling better that help was on the way. Now he just had to make sure Dean was going to leave him alone.


	5. Diving is Like Flying

Castiel pulled the swim cap from his hair, leaving it a tousled mess, and stowed the thing in his gym bag. He threw on a t-shirt and his jeans over the bathing suit and slid his feet into his battered up crocs. Normally by now he would have gotten a new pair. Even cutting out private school hadn't seen the return of the old way of life. He was just glad that the school had made new swim gear mandatory or his brothers probably would have made him make do with the old kit.

Sighing, he slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out of the locker and out into the school parking lot. He was almost halfway across to the bus stop when he spotted the black '67 Chevy Impala. Dean was leaned up against it, smoking a cigarette and staring over at the entrance of the school. He was alone.

Cas felt himself stiffen, wanting to draw attention away from himself and disappear. His mouth went dry and he suddenly remembered his hair was a mess and his speedo was bleeding water into his jeans.

Before he could disappear though, Dean happened to turn his head and spotted him.

"Cas!" He said, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his heavy booted foot.

Taking a deep breath he changed his trajectory and walked up to him. The man was, frankly, gorgeous. His face might as well have been a carving of what a perfect male specimen should be. His short spiky hair was perfect, his leather jacket was a little big on him, but somehow just made him look cooler.

It was safe to say that this man did things to Castiel that he would rather not admit to himself. So he told himself that he was just nervous around him. It was actually awkward to save another person’s life, especially when they were about ten times cooler than you.

"Hello, Dean."

"How's it going? You just getting out of..." he trailed off as Dean was eyeing him up and down, his gaze lingering on his crotch. "Swim practice?" He asked, then Cas remembered his jeans were wet in a specific region, and blushed. Before he could think of anything to say, his mind going blank Dean shook his head and smacked himself in the forehead with exaggerated mock severity. "No, Diving! right?"

Cas cleared his throat, trying to compose himself."Yeah, was just doing laps today though."

"You practice every day?" Dean asked, relaxing his posture a bit.

"Pretty much. Though in the summer I prefer the river. Less people. No chlorine."

Dean looked away so he couldn't see his expression, but he said "I don't have the same fondness for your river."

Cas felt his cheeks heat. Idiot, bringing up the trauma of almost drowning. "It's really much nicer in the summer. Not as cold and much slower running. You can practically just swim right by the house and it doesn't really pull you downstream."

"I'm sure.." Dean said, hunching his shoulders, then admitted. "I don't really know how to swim."

"Really?"

"Nope. We moved around a lot as kids and Dad didn't really make that one a priority."

"I could teach you."

Dean looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"Well, I can't be there every time you fall into a freezing river. Teach a man to fish..." He added the old proverb. Dean surprised him by laughing out loud, his whole body taken up in the exercise.

"You know what Cas, I don't care what your friends say, you're funny."

"I-" but he snapped his own mouth shut. He was funny damn it, just most people didn't get it. Dean got his jokes. "Who said I wasn't funny?" though he thought he already knew, who else? Anna.

"Oh, I- um. Anna just said you were a little stiff. Proper."

Cas decided to ignore this. Anna needed to keep her damned mouth shut.

"For what it's worth, I don't think she knows you that well." Dean added while he collected his thoughts. That could be the understatement of the century.

Castiel didn’t know why he said it, but he blurted out"I have a swim meet this weekend, Saturday at 11. Would...could you come?” And then he kept rambling, “My brothers are out of town and I don't really know anyone else here, other than Anna. She's already said she'll be there..."

Dean looked surprised, "Yeah, sure. I can.." He looked like he was going to add more then finished with a shrug and a "Sure."

They stood there not looking at each other directly for another thirty seconds (it might as well have been a lifetime).

"I gotta get the next bus..." Cas blurted out suddenly, as he caught the bus in his peripheral vision.

"You um, want a ride?" Dean asked, boldly looking him in the eye this time.

Cas felt his pulse quicken. "Aren't you waiting for Sam?" His brain looking for any and every way this could go wrong.

Dean looked over at the school again. "I think I've been stood up, honestly. Come on."

 

 

#  
"I haven't seen you since my first day..." Castiel said from the passenger seat, his hands clutching his back on his lap.

"Oh, uh," Dean grunted, still agitated about the whole affair. "Yeah, counselor screwed me over and wouldn't let me finish up the year there. Bobby got me some book on how to take the GED, but... it's a headache to slog through so I haven't done much with it."

"Oh, that's too bad, I was hoping to at least know two people at the school."

"Sammy not hanging out with you and Anna?"

"Sam? No, he's always with that Ruby chick at lunch and some other" He was about to say 'stoners', but he felt awkward outing him to Dean now.

"Some other what?" Dean asked,his brow furrowing.

"Kids..."

"What were you really about to say?"

"Uh, stoners."

Dean snorted. "Maybe that's been his problem. He's been so elusive lately and his grades have gone to shit."

"You sound like a concerned parent." Castiel observed.

"Well, I have to be."

Castiel was going to ask more, but they had pulled up to the townhouse.

"Dean leaned over him to get a look at the place. "This it?"

"It is."

"Man, two houses. I can't even imagine. We barely have the one and only cause my uncle lets us live there."

Castiel looked over the house trying to see it from Dean's perspective. "I guess I've never thought of it that way. Honestly there were always so many of us, sometimes two houses seemed too small."

"How big is your family?" Dean asked as Castiel opened the door. 

He turned back, "Altogether? Thirteen of us." Then he stepped out of the car, shutting the door. 

Dean let out a low whistle. "Okay, I take it back, two houses is fine."

Cas gave him a half smile, as he leaned down to look through the window. "Well, thanks for the ride."

"Yeah, anytime, if you see me always feel free to ask. And I'll, uh, see you on Saturday for sure."

"Great." Cas tried to say, but it came out as half squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Great. And thanks again."

 

 

#  
The pool wasn't exactly the kind of place that Dean hung out. He had occasionally walked into a YMCA when things were desperate with him and Sammy, but those times it had simply been to use the showers. This place was immense, the Olympic sized pool was used for competitions and even had arena seating on one side. He stood by the door, bright lights, echoing sounds and the permeating haze of chlorine making him feel conspicuous in his leather jacket and jeans, while boys in Speedos and people in jogging suits ran in inexplicable directions around him.

Why had he agreed to this?

He jumped when someone touched his arm, letting out a sigh a relief when he turned to find Anna at his shoulder. "You alright, Winchester? You look a little lost."

"This isn't exactly my kind of place." Dean admitted.

"I would think a place with highly toned men running around in nothing but Speedos and swim caps would be right up your alley," Anna laughed out, sarcastic.

Dean furrowed his brow and scowled at her, trying to calm the panicked thoughts he was absolutely not having related to exactly that thing. "Where are we sitting, and please keep it away from anywhere I could get splashed. This is real leather."

"Only you would wear a leather jacket to a diving competition. Come on," and she slipped her arm around his elbow and steered him around the pool to the arena seating. He made her climb to the very back row, she gave him a look, but let him steer her. "No Sam?"

"He said he had some paper to write or something. I didn't argue."

"You two arguing a lot?"

Dean did not want to talk about it. "No, I mean, yeah I guess. But there is bound to be an adjustment period? He was kind of on his own for months..."

Anna looked concerned, "Isn't he happy you're back?"

"Yes of course, but he's also...different. I think he just grew up while I was away. I'm trying to give him his space-"

An unpleasant whine came up over the speakers and someone started speaking in a muffled barely decipherable manner over the loud-speakers. Dean spotted Cas coming out of the locker room with a few other divers, his Speedo was dark blue with white logo splashed across like the others in his group. School colors.

Anna was speaking to him, but between the muffled speaker and the sight of Cas he didn't hear a word.

"Are you listening to me?" Anna shoved him in the shoulder. He winced, the gash was still healing.

"Ouch," he admonished.

"Oh, right your cut."

"It's not a cut, it's a freaking chunk of missing flesh. Could you not?"

"Like you even felt it, your mind is all about Castiel the magnificent."

"Anna!"

"What?"

Dean glared at her, "The guy saved my life, he asked for some moral support for his first meet of the year so I am here. Who else am I supposed to watch? I don't know any of the other divers."

"Touchy."

"Shut up."

"You love it." She was too self-satisfied and he decided to go back to the watching the action.

An air horn sounded and a new announcer came on who was actually articulate, or someone had fixed the sound mixer. Either way suddenly the competition was underway and contestants were being called by name and mounting the tall ladder to the tall diving platform.

"They really just jump from up there?"

Anna shook her head at him. "Don't you watch the Olympics?"

Dean raised his eyebrows at her. "Yeah, right."

"You are literally the worst human being."

Dean grunted and watched the first diver take his life into his own hands falling backwards off the podium and miraculously turning about in midair and hitting the water with a splash. There was some scattered clapping.

"I could never do something like that."

"You probably could, that wasn't all that impressive. The less splash the better."

The announcer came over the speakers with the score. It then flashed across the reader board.

"See."

Dean nodded, though he didn't understand the numbers being flashed as all. Three more divers went, each was a little better than the first guy and their scores reflected the difference.

"Castiel Novak!" The announcer called, and Dean sat up straighter in his seat, clutching his hands together nervously. It was as if he was following him up the stairs, he felt himself get tense and nervous. He saw that when Cas reached the top he swung his arms about stretched out his legs and bounced on his toes.

"Why do they all do that?"

"Limbers up the muscles and gets out the nerves. At this level of competition it's mostly about mentality. Their bodies know how to do what they do. Now they just have to get into the done where every second and every muscle twitch counts. Cas is one of the best in the county. If he gets a good score today he'll get to compete at the state level."

Cas started to move forward to the edge, his toes curling around the edge of the platform. Then he bounced up on his toes and launched himself into the air. His body as flat as board he twisted and turned and seemed to fly the the air. His body straightened and he plunged head first in to the waiting pool with nary a splash. Dean gasped.

The stands went kind of nuts clapping and cheering. Anna punched him in the thigh, clapping furiously.

But Dean sat there hands clasped together until Cas came up to the surface of the water and only when Cas was out of the pool did he let himself breathe and clap.

His score came up then and it was the highest one by a fair margin.

"See," Anna said grinning at him.

"I see. Shit."

Dean tried to focus on what made the difference in scores so he could at least get what the criteria were. He kept grilling Anna about what the scoring meant, and she kept up a steady stream of comments to explain what the moves they were doing were and what they meant complexity wise. She was pretty well informed, and she told him that was because her older brother had been a driver in High school before he went off the college to be a journalist.

Cas dove several more times, he looked so natural doing it. Graceful and nuanced. Dean felt like he could see every muscle in the man's body as he twisted and twirled in the air. It made him feel hot under the collar, but it was probably just the overly heated and humid room and his leather jacket.

Then it was all over. The winners were announced, Cas and a handful of others from several different schools were going to the state competition and then people started getting up and filing out of the bleachers. Dean sat there, not wanting to join the crowd of people lining up on the stairs between the bleachers. Anna stood up beside him, looking down.

"Ready, Winchester?" She asked.

"What? Uh, no. You go ahead. I'll wait till everyone leaves."

Anna raised an eyebrow at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah, you go ahead."

"You okay?"

"I just feel conspicuous in this place. It will be better if I pull up the rear."

Rolling her eyes she steps around him towards the stairs. "Want to go get something to eat?" Dean just shook his head. "Alright then...See you on Monday?"

"Yeah, sure thing." But he was hardly paying attention, because at that moment Cas appeared in the doorway of the men's locker room. Dressed now is a pristine white tee shirt, clinging damply to his chest and a pair of bright blue track pants.

Cas was scanning the crowd, and he smiled when he saw Dean then came towards the bleachers. Dean got up leaping from bench to bench down the stands instead of using the stairs.

"Good job today, Cas!" Anna greets him at the bottom of the stairs. Cas grins and gives her a big hug. Dean comes up next to them awkwardly, a little out of breath and red in the face.

"Thanks, Anna," Cas is saying as he pulls away.

Anna looks up at Dean, and sort of takes a little step back, giving him an odd look. "Hey, I gotta run, I'll see you both at school on Monday."

"Sure thing, bye Anna."

As soon as she is gone his eyes lock with Dean's.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas." Dean rubs the back of his too hot neck, not sure what to say or even what he's even doing here.

"I appreciate you coming to the meet. I wasn't sure you would."

"Anna sold it pretty well, saying you could fly and all that. I see what she means."

Castiel's careful smile breaks into an embarrassed grimace. "I'm not really that good."

"Yes, you are," Dean protested, adding sheepishly "and I say that from the position of complete and total ignorance on the sport of diving."

Cas snorts, "Well, I can't argue with that."

"So, are you done?" Dean asks.

"Uh, yeah." Cas mumbles, sort of sadly. Looking at his bare feet self consciously.

"You wanna grab a burger or something?"

The hope in his eyes as he looks up at Dean is almost too much. "I would love a burger."

"It's a date then!" Dean realized what he said and instantly tried to take it back. "I mean...it's not really, I mean not it- you-"

Cas laid a hand on his hurt shoulder, Dean didn't flinch this time, for really it didn't hurt under his gentle touch. Instead it served to remind him of what they had experienced together. "It's a date," Cas says calmly, his voice low and rough. With this, Dean could do nothing but relent. He nodded. Cas smiled.

 

#

"Dude, how many of those are you going to eat?" Dean asked as Cas took a bite out of yet another burger.

He chewed silently for a minute. "I was thinking around the time I lost count. But maybe just ten." Dean raised an eyebrow. He could eat, sure, but this was ridiculous. "What?" He gesticulates with the bitten in two burger. "Diving is hungry work."

"Sure it is, dude. You're giving me angina just watching you." Dean bit into another fry, having finished his two burgers minutes before.

Cas set down his burger, licking a bit of special sauce off his upper lip. "Yeah, I should probably slow down a bit." He took a long sip of soda. "So, you've now seen me doing my embarrassing vocation. When do I get to see yours?"

The man's mind jumped all over the place. "My vocation?"

"Yeah." He gestured to himself with his soda, "I dive." He then gestured at Dean, "What do you do?"

Dean felt panicked slightly, stammering out. "I...I don't do anything." He knew how useless he was. He hunched his shoulders.

Cas cocked his head sideways like a curious bird. "Everyone does something, Dean."

"Not me." Wanting the conversation to be over.

Cas narrowed his eyes at him. "Nothing? Really?"

Dean looked into his eyes, hoping if he was honest that he was useless that he would let it drop. "Look, the two things. Fix cars and take care of Sammy."

His eyes sparked, "You fix cars?"

"Yeah, I guess. My dad has a '67 Chevy Impala, he taught me how to take care of her. I can fix other cars too, when Bobby needs help in his shop, but the Impala's my baby."

"You're Dad gave you his car?"

It was amazing how fast the feelings hit him. Like a punch in the gut. Just thinking about his father now brought back the terrible image of him laying on the floor. Dean clenched his hands around the edge of the table, his jaw locking into place. "He-he died." Those were not tears in his eyes. How had the conversation gone to jokes about eating to talking about his father?

"I didn't know," Cas looks stricken and he reached a hand across the table laying it over Dean's. His hand was warm and a little bit greasy from all the burgers. Firm and gentle and uncalloused. Dean swallowed feeling like he had something stuck in his throat, but the panic was subsiding.

Dean shook his head. "No Cas, it's fine, it was a year ago. I-" he cleared his throat. "You didn't know," he gently pulls his hand out of Cas's reach. Cas just leaves his hand where it had been over his so that their fingers rest just centimeters apart on the beat up Formica table.

"Can I ask what happened?" Cas asks, looking up and leaned forward so intent and intense.

Dean just stared back at him till his ears started ringing and he let out a shaky breath. "Listen, Cas..."

"No," Cas leaned back, cheeks flushing with embarrassment "no I totally understand. You don't have to tell me." He shook his head as if in apology for even asking.

"It's not that I don't-" He stopped himself from babbling, he reached his fingers forward and tapped the other boys hand, needing him to understand he wasn't pushing him away. "I'll tell you about it later, okay? Can we just eat?"

Cas nodded and slid his hand back across the table, tapping the edge lightly like he was playing the drums. "Of course." They're eyes caught again and they sat there for a minute too long, just staring into each other.

"I think I'm going to order a hot fudge sundae, you want one?" Cas suddenly said into the silence.

Dean huffed out a laugh, glad for the change of subject and suddenly craving the comfort of soft serve and plastic-y fudge.

"Yeah, I'd love one. In fact, make it two!"

Cas laughed, it was a little forced, but it was what they both needed. "Four hot fudge sundaes coming right up!"


	6. Traps

"You can only truly open your mind if you relax," Ruby pouted at him from the desk she sat on.

Sam pretended to read the page in front of him, but he was so intensely aware of Ruby's presence he was just staring at the page, the black letters blurring before his eyes. It was true, he was tense, but he had to get his grades back up or Dean would kill him.

Ruby had other ideas. 

Over the next twenty minutes she did everything in her power to get his attention, without seeming to be trying to get his attention. She hummed, then said she hadn’t realized she was humming. Then she started to tell a story about her friend Meg and some guy she was dating. Then she bent over to pick something off the ground, but bent from the hips, her ass perfectly in his field of vision. 

“Ruby, don’t you have somewhere else you can be?”

“I’m bored, Sam. Can’t we go somewhere and...do stuff?”

Sam wasn’t sure exactly what ‘stuff’ she actually had in mind, often she implied intimacy and meant something else entirely. But it was still enough for his body to betray him into to thinking about her body. 

“Fine, where do you want to go?”

Ruby brightened, “I know just the place.” She told him cryptically.

There was no use asking more questions, she would not answer them. He packed up his homework and they left the library going out into the bright winter day. There was a chill in the air, but the sky was clear and the sun was intense.

Ruby led them to a park not far from the school, and out under a large sprawling oak.

“So,” Sam said once they got to this random secluded place. Ruby leaned up against the trunk. “What’s so significant about an old oak tree?” And he placed his hand on the tree above her shoulder and leaned over her. 

Ruby placed a hand on his chest. “Cool it lover boy.”

“Ruby…”

“Just wait, my friend will be here soon.” And she ran a long nailed finger down his cheat.

“Your friend?” Sam asked, confused.

She smiled broadly.

“Why would they know we would be here?”

Ruby smiled, “They don’t, but I know they will be here.”

“Ruby…” Sam groaned. She was so exasperating. She went on her tiptoes and kissed him and he forgot he was mad at her for a bit. 

The ‘friend’ showed up not long after. An older gentleman with sandy blonde hair and a tan jacket. Something about him was familiar but Sam couldn’t put his finger on why.

“Ruby, what have you brought me?” He said as he approached, seeming to appear out of nowhere, but Sam hadn’t really been paying attention to his surroundings. 

“Luci!” Ruby exclaimed, “This is Sam, my, uh, boyfriend. I gave him some of your samples, but I think he’s ready for the other stuff.”

“Well you brought him to the right place then. Let’s get you young folks all set up.”


	7. Getting to Know You

Castiel heard the basketball hitting the concrete long before he rounded the corner. The road had been a bit longer than he had anticipated, and he was sweating by the time he came to the junkyards entrance. The battered sign above the open gate read "Singer's Salvage", the paint flaking with rust showing through.

The address matched the one on his crumpled piece of college ruled paper, so he ventured in. Rows upon rows of cars lined the dirt driveway, from rusted out frames to cars with smashed in fronts, nothing looked new or even usable. Cas spotted a moving shadow near one of the tin sided sheds and heard the ball again, at least someone was here.

As he came around a large hulking beast of a vehicle, that looked like it had been a tow truck before it had itself been towed to this junkyard, the source of the noise came into view. Dean.

The sun lay in a long sliver across the makeshift court of gravel sprinkled concrete, broken with long cracks. Dean stood in the slanting light in a plain black tee and well worn jeans, his ever present flannel wrapped around his waist. His hair was cut military short and was spiked with casual perfection, his arms over his head as he let fly a free throw shot that made perfect arc into the empty rimmed basketball hoop.

The reverberation off the metal hoop covered his footsteps, so Cas made himself clear his throat to get the boys attention.

Dean startled and spun around like a ballerina, looking ready to fight. But when his eyes fell on Cas he stopped in his tracks. The ball bounced a couple feeble times, and bounced away before rolling to a stop in the gravel.

"Cas," He said, his voice high and cracking, in surprise. He looked vulnerable and suddenly Cas wished he hadn't come. Somehow he just couldn't make himself invisible around this man. A trick he could usually employ in most situations. Dean not only saw him, but was seen by him. It made being with him frightening.

"Hello, Dean," Was all he could come up with. Somehow it seemed to make Dean relax a tick. He breathed out and turned to jog over to grab the forgotten basketball. He passed it to Cas, who caught it, but barely. He was athletic enough, but he had never really gotten into the team sports. Still, he knew how to dribble a ball so he gave it a couple practice bounces.

Stuffing the address in his pocket he started to dribble the ball with earnest. His backpack was a hindrance, so between dribbles he shrugged out of it.

He rushed Dean, heading right, then switching to his left side at the last moment. Obviously Dean wasn't expecting the fake, cause he got by and he took his shot, using his jumping skills to make a layup. The ball bounced in without much grace. But it went in.

"Damn, Cas," Dean chuckled as he caught the ball as it bounced back to him.

Cas couldn't help the smile that graced his lips anymore than he could stop his heart from fluttering to see Dean look at him like that.

"So this is where you live?"Cas asked, as if it weren't obvious. His nerves making him momentarily stupid.

"Yeah.." Dean sounded somewhere between defensive and embarrassed. "My uncle Bobby put us up. Well he's not really our uncle but..." He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Family don't end in blood. Or at least that's what he says." Cas wondered if he was nervous too. But dismissed the thought. Surely Dean was more composed than that.

"I like that," Cas smiled and looked at his shoes. "The family that raised you can be troublesome."

"That's for sure," Dean smirked, throwing in the ball from where he stood with a perfect swish.

They shared a smile. Castiel felt his mouth go dry at that. Why did Dean make him so damned nervous. Dean once more ran to catch the ball as it rebounded off the building.

They squared off and played a few rounds of one on one. Dean thoroughly kicking his ass, but he wasn't pompous of his casual athleticism. It didn't help that every time they touched or collided Cas felt like his heart might explode out of his chest.

"Dean?" A voice called out from somewhere, making Cas miss his shot spectacularly. Feeling like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing. An older man, short beard and a ratty looking trucker hat on his head came around the corner. He stopped when he spotted them. "Oh, I didn't realize you had company," Then he seemed to recognize him. "Wait, Castiel?"

"Hello," Cas said, straightening from his crouch and standing so straight and still you'd have thought he was standing at attention like a soldier. "How are you Bobby?"

Bobby was closing the distance though, and he gave him a full on hug. "How are you son?"

"Oh, I'm doing well, sir." Cas swallowed nervously as Bobby stepped back.

"How'd you find us?" Bobby asked, glancing over at Dean.

"Oh, um Dean gave me the address at school awhile ago...I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks and..." Dean was looking sheepish and avoided looking at his uncle.

"You didn't tell me Cas went to the same school as Sam."

"Uh, slipped my mind," Dean said looking at his shoes, not at the man.

"Oh, right. Well, I was just going to tell you I ordered some pizza, if you were hungry," Dean looked up at that. "You're welcome to stay too, son," He added to Castiel.

"Thank you, Mr. Singer."

Bobby chuckled. "I'll leave you to it, if you see Sam, let him know."

"Sam's not upstairs?" Dean asked, his head whipping up in alarm.

"I called for him, but I don't think so, the hall was dark."

"I thought he had homework." Dean muttered.

Bobby shrugged.

"Thanks, Bobby. We'll be in, in a bit."

Bobby gave an apologetic look, then turned to go back towards the house.

Once the man was out of earshot, Dean cursed soundly, hurling the ball across the court and hitting the tin sided shed in a rousing clang.

"Dean?" Cas asked, looking worried.

"Sorry, it's just Sam keeps sneaking out and I don't know why. Nothing has been the same since I got back, and I can't seem to get him to talk to me. His grades are the worst I've ever seen from him, and every time he says he's doing homework I find him doing something else or not here. Bobby has been great, but he's done nothing to make Sam listen. Not that it's his job, but..." Dean trailed off. "I'm sorry man, I shouldn't put all this on you."

"Dean, it's fine. I can see your worried about him. Why don't we get some pizza and you can tell me more?"

Green eyes flicked up to meet his. Cas thought he was trying to see if Cas was serious, or teasing him. Cas kept his face neutral. Dean nodded, and started towards the house, clapping a hand on Cas's shoulder as he passed him. Cas let himself be led, trying not to be hyper aware of the warm hand on his shoulder. He scooped up his backpack as they went. Bobby was not in the kitchen, but they could hear the tv from the other room, and shifting lights on the curtains. The old screen door, screeched and slammed behind them as they entered the kitchen. Two pizza boxes waited on the tiny 1950's style formica table, giving off the heavenly smell of cheese and pepperoni. Dean pushed him gently towards them.

"It's probably all meat lovers, I hope that's alright."

“You know I'm a strict vegetarian," Cas said, staring at him.

Dean looked stricken, then smiled softly, ducking his head when he got the joke. He chuckled out, "Dammit, Cas." Most likely remembering the last time they had seen each other when Castiel had consumed a disgusting number of hamburgers.

"Do you have a plate?" Cas asked, moving on.

Dean went to the sink, where an old fashioned drying rack sat, full of dishes. He pulled one out, gave it a once over with his eyes then handed it to him. It was a an old thin pyrex plate the pattern of blue and pink, mostly scratched off. "This one looks clean enough. You want beer, there in the fridge..."

"Uh-" Cas felt himself flush.

"You've never had beer," Dean said it as a statement not a question. He frowned "...we also have root beer too...or water?"

"Father's a pastor. Not really a thing we have in the house."

"Right.” Dean looked torn, then he made a decision, “Mind if I drink?" Dean asked.

"No, not at all," Cas said, eyeing the beer.

"You are welcome to have one, Bobby won't mind, even Sammy steals one on occasion, when he thinks I won't notice. They are super weak, so it's not a big deal."

Cas licked his lips, feeling an odd mix of desire and peer pressure and guilt.

"I'm not saying you have to-"

"I'll try it," Castiel decided.

"If you don't like it, Bobby will drink it," He said and he twisted off the lid with a satisfying release of pressure. He plopped the beer in front of him and they began to load up their plates with Pizza.

Dean had been right, they were both piled with meats, sausage, pepperoni, salami and ground beef. He led him to the living room, there he found a torn up old velvet couch, dirty red velvet curtains and a random of assortment of dusty vintage furniture. Along one wall was floor to ceiling bookshelves full to the brim with books of every size shape and type.

Cas stood there reading some of the spines.

"Oh yeah, Bobby has quite the collection of books. He may not look it, but the man is quite the scholar."

"There's a lot of religious texts up there," Cas said, moving around the squat coffee table to sit on the other side of the man as he arranged his pizza.

"Well, don't go giving him too much credit. He's also obsessed with Tori Spelling," Dean said, chuckling.

"Who I ...?" Cas, frowned, wondering if he had ever heard that name before.

Dean rolled his eyes, but was smiling. "No television growing up either I take it?"

"None, whatsoever," Cas admitted.

"I see. We'll have to remedy that." And he followed this with action, turning on the ancient looking tv with an equally ancient looking remote.

 

~~~

Castiel woke with a start, the television was still on, displaying a blank blue screen where the vhs tape had ended. Paper plates, crumpled napkins, a pizza box with one piece of pizza left inside and several mostly empty beer bottles littered the coffee table. Dean was fast asleep on his side of the couch, thighs together where they lay. The house was still and quiet. In the kitchen he could just make out the stove clock, it read 2:38. 

Squinting, Castiel sat up, causing Dean to stir.

They had watched three separate films, of varying quality, all of which Dean had defended as his 'favorite' flick. Cas certainly felt he had a slightly better insight into the man.

"Cas?" Dean asked groggily, blinking awake. "Oh shit, what time is it? Do you need a ride home?" He scrubbed a hand across his face as if that would wake him up. 

Cas shook his head. "It's almost 3am, I'll call Gabe and let him know where I am." Cas gave a huge unexpected yawn, "mind if I crash here?"

Dean snorted softly, "Stay as long as you want." He mumbled, his eyes drifting shut again. Castiel found himself smiling down at the man with a feeling of tightness in his chest. He stood and found a phone on the kitchen wall. For some reason the had three separate phones on the wall, the far left one was marked "home" so he used that one.

A very irritated Gabriel answered the phone.

"Castiel? Where the hell are you?"

"I'm at Dean Winchester's, we were watching movies and fell asleep. I just," again a yawn broke in, "woke up. I'm gonna crash here, Dean can drop me off in the morning."

"I suppose you want me to cover your ass?"

"Gabe..." he pleaded.

Gabe chuckled, "As if I hadn't already, get back to sleep you idiot."

"Goodnight." 

"Night, moron," Gabe said affectionately.

Cas hung up and sighed out his relief, Gabriel was a pain in the ass, but at least he was helpful.

He got himself two glasses of water and made his way back to the couch. For a moment he tried to figure out how he could sleep in the overstuffed leather chair, or on the floor, but the beat up couch was too comfortable looking, so he sat back down, fluffed a dusty pillow and lay awkwardly there, pretending to sleep while he lay awake, hyper aware of the warm thigh pressed against his own.

Cas never really fell completely to sleep, so he noticed when the door opened at around 5 and Sam slunk in, quiet as a burglar. He watched him peak in and startle when he saw him staring back. Cas tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at him.

Sam looked panicked and started to speak. Cas flicked his eyes to the sleeping Dean then back at Sam and shook his head.

Sam visibly relaxed and made his way up the stairs without a sound. Cas spent the rest of the night wondering whether to tell Dean what he had seen.

#

Castiel’s decision was taken out of his hands as they were awoken by loud noises in the kitchen.

Cas didn’t remember falling back to sleep, but at some point he must have for he was now curled up against Dean like a sleeping cat.

Dean was awake, his head lifted from the other end of the couch, blinking at him through sleep.

“Is that bacon?” He asked.

“Smells like it.”

Dean smiled, “You sleep okay?”

Just as he was going to tell him about Sam’s early return, Sam burst into the living room. “Is Bobby cooking?” He asked them.

Dean shrugged swinging his legs off the couch as Cas unfolded himself and did the same. 

From then on until Dean drove him home Sam stayed with them preventing him from telling him in confidence.

In fact by the time he got home he had kind of forgotten about the incident. 

#

Over the next few months Dean and him hung out every weekend, sometimes joined by Anna, but mostly just the two of them. 

Fridays often became pizza and movies night withs Saturdays alternating between swim meets, basketball and Cas watching while Dean fixed up cars. 

They fell into a comfortable routine of friendship. Castiel spent more time at the Dean’s place than his own home. Though Sundays were still to be spent at the church, unless he had a diving competition. 

Slowly, slowly he admitted to himself that he liked Dean. That he wanted more than just friendship from him and that his favorite most alive part of any given week, was falling asleep next to him on the couch.


	8. Swim Lessons, Part 1

Dean dropped his wrench with a yelp and he touched the hot engine block with his wrist. Swearing he looked at the red line across his wrist in consternation. 

“Dean?” Came a familiar gravelly voice, as Castiel ran into the garage. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I should have waited until the car was cooler to attempt unbolting things,” He admonished himself.

“Let me see,” Cas said, and took his arm in one hand, and dragged him to the shop sink. He turned on the flow and trust it under the cool water.

The relief was instantaneous, and he moved to pull his arm out again.

“No, keep it under the flow for a couple minutes.”

Dean became hyper aware of two things in this moment, 1- Castiel’s hand on his arm was very comfortable, 2- and Castiel being authoritative was very arousing. 

Dean felt his cheeks flush, “Yes, Sir.”

Cas looked at him funny then licked his lips nervously.

“I-uh, sorry.” 

“No, you uh- no need to be sorry.” 

They stood there, the sound of the faucet running the only sound, staring into each others eyes while Castiel held his arm. Dean couldn’t help but imagine kissing those lips. Wanted nothing more than to be brave and close that distance. 

But he was stuck. He couldn't move so they stood there dumbly and stared at each other. Dean couldn't take it anymore and broke the awkwardness by talking.

“So, umm, hey i was thinking about something you said a long time ago.” The spell broken, Cas let go of his arm and Dean pulled it out of the stream. “Would you, maybe, teach me to swim?”

Cas looked startled but he nodded smiling. “Of course, we could start today!”

“I, we i have to finish this job today, but like, next weekend?”

“Of course.”

“Cool, sorry i’m not really free today. But you’re free to stick around…” Dean said, hoping he wasn’t just going to leave as soon as he got there.

Cas ducked his head smiling at his feet. “You know i will, what else was i going to do today?”

Dean grabbed up some blue paper towels and dry his hands and looked at his wrist. The burn didn’t look so bad after the cool water bath. “All healed, thanks to you.”

Cas shook his head, “let me at least wrap it up so you don’t burn it again.”

Dean just nodded and let the man bandage him with gauze from the first aid kit.

 

#  
Dean swayed from foot to foot nervously, the planks of the wooden dock were hot under his bare feet and sun glinted off the sluggish brown river.

Cas had been right that the river wasn't quite as intimidating as it had been in the full glacial melt of a post storm runoff of January. However, it didn't make standing around half naked in a pair of swim trunks next to it that much less intimidating either.

"You can hang your towel here," Cas pointed out a bent nail in the rickety looked lamp pot that was attached to the dock. Dean, hung the threadbare beach towel, it's design lost to countless washings, where he was told.

Cas then pointed to a seemingly random spot on the side of the dock, "There are some rungs over the side here for when you get out, they're hard to see."

"I'm not going to panic, Cas."

Cas shrugged, but also gave him a little smile. "I'm just giving you a rundown of the area so you aren't caught by surprise. It's what I would tell anyone coming to swim here. This isn't some controlled environment like the pool."

"I told you, I don't like that place. Everything echoes."

Cas nodded. It had taken Dean a long time to finally ask Cas to teach him how to swim, then when he had tried to go to the pool he had chickened out. There was no way he was parading around in shorts in an echo chamber in front of other people. So after refusing to leave the locker room, Cas had offered to take him back to the river. That too had taken some time and convincing, but now here they were. The river wasn't much lower than it had been in January, but it flowed slower than it had, and with this heat, it actually looked inviting. As long as he didn't think about it too much.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. "You ready?"

"Yeah, sure." Dean failed his attempt at nonchalance.

Cas either didn't notice, or didn't care, and his hand slid down his bare arm to rest on his elbow. Dean felt the hairs on his arm stand up at the contact, this wasn't helping his nerves. Though it did make him want to jump into the water and hide. Cas led him to the edge of the dock with a gentle hand, and Dean let himself be led. Then he stood on the edge of the dock, waiting to be pushed in.

Nothing happened.

Dean let out his breath he had been holding in preparation.

"What?" Cas asked, when he looked over at him.

"I thought you were going to throw me in."

Cas looked at him like he was nuts. "Why would I do that? Fear of the water isn't something to scoff at. And you almost drown less than six months ago." Cas then sat on the edge of the dock and dangled his feet into the slow moving water. "What kind of monster would throw someone in the water who didn't know how to swim?"

Dean blinked, his eyes roving from his top view of Cas, to the far side of the river bank, where tall grasses and a scraggly looking tree stood. His mind roved back to his father setting him on a bicycle and pushing him off without warning or training wheels, to the time he gave him boxing gloves and then proceeded to beat the shit out him until he learned to dodge and punch back, to him shoving a gun in his hands and telling him to shoot the cans off the fence.

Dean grunted, and looked back down. Cas was squinting up at him, his head tilted as if he was trying to hear his thoughts. He patted the spot next him. "Sit."

He did as he was told and sat on the edge, his feet hitting the water as he maneuvered himself next to Cas. In the process he bumped into him, his warm tan skin meeting his own. Again, he had a distinct desire to jump into the water to escape. Instead he willed himself to settle and lower his feet lower into the water.

He then braced himself to have to push himself in the water. A cold knot was forming in the pit of his stomach at the thought, but he tried to relax. He trusted Cas. He would be fine.

"Now, first things first, let your feet get used to the water. Feel it's temperature and how it flows over your feet downstream to you left."

Dean frowned, "Yeah, okay, but shouldn't I get in the water?"

"Not yet. I want you first to feel the water. Notice the temperature and how it feels on your skin. Now I want you to imagine being in it."

Dean just looked at his friend, not really able to concentrate on his feet in the water at all.

"Wait, I just wanted you to teach me to swim."

"Dean," Cas said, his voice gruff and commanding. "You. Almost. Drown. I need to know if being in the water is going to trigger any fears. I don't want to have to rescue you if I can prevent it. The whole point of me teaching you to swim is to help you face this fear. Now we will do this my way, or we can go back inside and order a pizza."

Again Dean was taken aback. Even the guys ultimatums were strangely non-threatening.

"Yeah, okay. I see your point," Dean grumbled. He was used to just rushing through things that frightened him. This gradual approach went against his instincts. He turned back to the water, for the first time leaning forward to look down at his feet. Closer up the water wasn't as brown, actually it was fairly clear and he could see to the bottom where the riverbank sloped up to meet the side of the river.

He tried to visualize himself jumping in, and he was immediately back in the ice cold river of January. Gooseflesh sprouted up along his arms and he felt like he might vomit.

"Okay, now pay attention to your feet in the water. They are warm, not cold. This isn't the same river. Feel the hot air around you, you are not freezing." Cas lay his cool hand on his hot sun warmed back, and Dean concentrated on the touch, on the warm air, on his feet that felt good in the cool water. Water that was not even cold compared to January. He breathed slowly and tried again.

This time he imagined jumping in, and it wasn't so scary.

"Imagine how you feel in a cool shower, or a bath."

This he could do. He relaxed into Cas's hand and nodded. "Okay, okay."

"Good. Now first I'm going to get in and show you how to tread water. It's got a few moves to it. First is the leg motion, like you are riding a bike." He demonstrated off the edge of the dock. Dean's eyes kept roving to his tight speedo, then to his leg movement. "And the arm motions," he waved his arms like a crazy person. Cas gave him a look, "It doesn't look as stupid in the water."

"I didn't say anything!" Dean protested. Cas squinted disbelief, but said nothing. Then pushed himself off the dock into the water. He went under the water, popping back up, his dark hair slicking back, his bare chest wet. Dean was having a hard time keeping it all together, but at least Cas was distracting him a bit from his fears.

Cas showed him the moves again in the water and explained how it kept him afloat. Dean found this to be helpful, at least it seemed like something he should be able to do. Cas then swam up to him and placed a wet hand on his thigh. Dean hadn't really seen Castiel's eyes in the sun before, and right now, they were a bright piercing blue looking up at him.

"Think you want to give it a try and get in?" Cas asked, licking his lips. Dean swallowed.

"You can hold onto the dock for support."

Then Cas took his hand away and swam backwards a couple feet back, waiting for him to join him. His mind roved to other ways he wanted to join him. Dean blushed at the thought and then hurled himself into the water before he could dwell on it more and embarrass himself.

Almost instantly he was in over his head. The water was somehow everywhere and he couldn't figure out which way was up. He flailed his arms and forgot he had legs and didn't apply any of the wisdom that Castiel had tried to pound into his head all day.

Arms were suddenly around him and pulling him sideways. They broke to the surface of the water and Dean choked in a breath that was amazingly free of water. He instinctively held onto Cas, his arm reaching up around his shoulder. Cas held him, his strong arms firm, but not too tight. After a moment Dean realized what he was doing and tried to pull away, but Cas's arms tightened to keep him in place.

Once he was calm, he felt like some other emotions like embarrassment. Not to mention holding onto him was also bringing up some other sensations.

Ones he didn't like to admit he had. He pulled his head back to look at Cas. Cas looked back at him, nose to nose. And just as he was deciding that drowning was the more practical solution to his current predicament, Cas leaned closer and kissed him.

It was small, but not quick. Not a little peck, or anything that could be dismissed as accidental. He leaned his head back, licking his lips after.

Dean stared back, his mouth working as he tried to think of something to say.

"You can stand, Dean." He finally said, his eyes, little rings of blue around deep black, still searching his.

"Oh." Was all he could muster. He then unwrapped his legs from around him and set them down, finding slimy, silty ground beneath his feet. He then let his arms go from around Cas, though he did have to hold his shoulders to steady himself against the slight current. "Oh." He said again, blushing.

For a long moment they stood in the silty bank, warm river water slowly past them, the sun beating down on bare shoulders.

"Dean-" Castiel began to say something and Dean realized that whatever he was planning to say could wait. He leaned in and kissed him back. He pulled him closer with his shoulders and felt Cas's muscular arms snake around him.

They stayed like this for a long time, mouths exploring each others, bodies pressed together as the warm water streamed passed them. Finally, mouths getting dry they parted, Dean stepped back finding nothing for his feet to land on and fell back, getting buoyed up by the water.

Castiel laughed at his folly and sank into the water to swim after him, ready to drag him to safety if need be. Suddenly the water didn't scare him anymore. If the one thing that scared him more than water could feel as good as that kiss then maybe the water wasn't so bad. Or maybe it was knowing that as long as he had Cas nearby he was safe. So instead of fighting against the water with all he had he let himself float, kicking out softly with his legs. Miraculously he found that the water carried him easily and all it took was a deft kick here and a swish of the arms there to keep him afloat.

That wasn't to say it was all easy, a few times during the next couple hours he found himself short of breath or flailing, but Cas was always there to save him. And in those moments they found each other lingering in each others arms, stealing kisses and touches as often as they could.

And so their summer began.


	9. Swim Lessons, Part 2

"Oh, uh, Hey Cas," Dean stumbled over his own tongue trying to sound nonchalant. 

"Hello, Dean," Cas said.

Trying not to dissect what his tone meant he plowed on, "hi, yeah. Hey i was wondering if we are still on for uh," he lowered his voice as if he was saying something secret, "swim lessons, today?" He voice going high on the last word.

"I thought that was the plan." Was the reply. Did he sound hopeful?

"Great!" Dean said, "great," he repeated. "I'll be over soon."

"Yes." And Cas just hung up.

Dean stared down at the phone, not sure what he was feeling, then hung it up on the wall receiver. The plans were still on and yet he had been kind of hung up on. He refused to dwell on this and ran up to his room to grab his swim trunks.

What he found when he reached the upstairs hallway, was his brother, shirtless with a towel around his waist standing in the door of the bathroom with said swim trunks, sopping wet, in his hand.

"Want to explain why these were hanging in the shower?" Sam asked, a sour expression on his face and sounding so much like their father that he felt himself straighten up to attention.

"They were hanging out to dry." 

"Why the hell do you have swim shorts? You can't even swim."

Dean felt his stomach drop, then pushed it aside with anger. He stepped forward to snatch the shorts out of Sam's hand. Sam stepped back holding the shorts out of reach.

Instead of be baited he stood his ground, "if you must know I'm getting swim lessons."

"Lessons?"

"Look, after I- after what happened in January i thought maybe it would be a good idea."

Sam nodded and lowered his arms, handing him the shorts. But before he let go he gave him a curious look, "whose teaching you?"

Dean licked his lips nervously, feeling almost like he was lying.

"That Anna chick?"

"No," he said, incredulous. Sam looked at him strangely.

"Okay, who then?"

Realizing his brother wasn't going to let this go until he told him, capitulated. "Cas." He admitted, ducking his head to hide his hot cheeks. The memory of the kisses in the water flooding him. 

Sam frowned. "Castiel, Cas?"

Dean exploded at him, not able to contain the anger that Sam would question him like this. "Yes! I figured the guy who saved my life might know a thing or two about swimming."

Sam finally let go of the wet shorts. Dean tried not to stagger back.

"Cas..." Sam mused, then he got a little smirk. "Then why are you blushing?"

Dean, not really wanting to have this conversation, tried to get out of it by pretending not to hear him and stepping past him into the bathroom. Again Sam used his great height and arm length advantage blocking his access to the bathroom door.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up at the arm in his way and then up at his brother. They hadn't been getting along much lately, not since he'd come home, but Sam was his closest confidant and friend in this world. The person who knew him the best. Or at least had known him best before the year of hell. 

Maybe Sam’s distance wasn’t completely one sided. If he wanted his brother to open up to him, he was going to have to open up. "Yes." Dean told him. " Yes, it made me blush."

Sam's lips parted into an oh, though he didn't say anything. He let his arm drop, though it seemed to Dean this was a gesture of letting him pass, not of disgust.

"You," he cleared his throat, "you like him?"

"I-" Inside Dean was saying yes, but saying that out loud made it too real. “Yes.” he surprised himself by admitting. 

Dam looked away, nodding. "Cool. Umm, good luck with the swim lessons," and he patted him on the back awkwardly and walked away.

Dean clenched his hand around the doorknob, feeling a little sick. Then Sam turned around at his door, "and thanks for telling me, Dean. Sorry I forced it out of you."

Whatever knot had been forming in his chest, loosened at this and he smiled cockily at his brother. "You're the first person I've told. Thanks for listening."

Sam smiled back, "what are brothers for?"

Dean nodded and entered the bathroom.

\--

Outside in the hall Sam stared after Dean, listening to his own words echo in his head. "What are brothers for?"

He shook it off and entered his room, wishing he could tell his brother anything about his life. Once again he couldn't live up to the insane bravery of Dean. Once the door was shut he sat down on the edge of his bed and started texting Ruby.

#

It was an even hotter day for their second swim lesson. When he pulled up to the little gravel parking area closer to the river than the house, Cas was waiting on a fence post, towel over his shoulder wearing a white tee and blue speedo. His skin was already slightly tanned and his hair was a wind swept mess. Dean felt himself tingle at the sight. 

Cas gave him a smile as he put the car in park and got out. His trunks were still damp, but it felt good as he stepped out into the heat of the day. 

“Come back for more?” Cas asked. 

“I told you I would,” Dean said, feeling nervous all of the sudden. After yesterday’s lesson and the kisses, they hadn’t really talked. Now he wasn’t sure what to say. This was uncharted territory. 

Cas stepped up to him, and took his hand, giving him a small hopeful smile. Whatever he had been afraid of, Cas’s hand in his bolstered him completely. 

“Hi,” and he leaned over to give him a peck on the lips. 

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said, like he always did. 

They walked hand and hand down to the river, stealing glances, and holding fucking hands. Dean could not remember the last time he had held hands with someone in a romantic way. There was something deceptively simple about the comfort of his hand in his. He didn’t want to let go.

Eventually though as they walked onto the dock, Cas unwound his fingers so that he could take off his tee. 

 

Dean watched him with eager eyes, then took off his own. 

Dean still didn’t feel ready to jump in and sat on the edge to get a feel for the water again. The sun beat down on his shoulders and he started to want to be in the water just to get out of the heat. 

Cas walked up beside him, lining up his feet so his toes just hung over the edge of the dock. Dean squinted up at him, the sun backlighting him making him look like an angel again. His guardian angel. 

Cas raised his arms above his head, bent his knees and dove with barely splash into the river, popping up twenty feet away like an otter. 

Dean let out his held breath, and grinned. “Someday maybe you can teach me how to do that.” 

“Let’s make sure you don’t drown first, shall we?” Cas replied, gliding back towards him easily.

Dean nodded, and pushed himself off the dock, splashing down into the river once more. 

As the late morning wore on into midday they found themselves having drifted a bit downstream and onto a strangely familiar bend in the river.

They pulled themselves onto the sandy beach and looked up at the little cabin on the hill.

"Is that...?"

"Crowley's Cabin." Castiel confirmed, his hand on Dean's back like it belonged there.

"Shall we?"

Castiel looked over at him, squinting at him in the bright sunlight, and shrugged with a small smile.

 

#  
There was something comforting about breaking into Crowley's cabin for the second time. This time taking the trouble to pick the lock. The window pane they had broken before wasn't fixed, but someone had nailed a bit of two by four across it from the inside. Dean was aware of Castiel's crotch behind his head as he knelt in front of the lock, but he staunchly ignored it, focusing on the task at hand.

The Cabin was exactly as they'd left it, except cleaner. Almost too clean.

"It wasn't this clean when we were here, was it?" Dean asked, looking into the room with suspicion. "Are you sure Crowley hasn't been back?"

Castiel nodded, brushing past him inside. "That's just my brothers. They cleaned up our mud and blood and mess. They can be...thorough."

"I don't even see any dust."

Castiel shrugged, throwing the folded plaid blanket from the back of the recliner at him. He caught it and threw it around his shoulders. "This feels softer too."

"Downy," Cas said absently as he grabbed another blanket and lifted it high in the air before letting it settle gracefully onto the ground in front of the cold fireplace.

"They even replenished the presto logs," Dean exclaimed, grabbing one up and squatting in front of the fire to get it started.

"Like I said, they are thorough," Castiel, hedged as if he didn't want to talk about it.

"You don't really like your brothers much do you?" Dean asked as he lit a match and held it under the paper bag.

Cas sighed. "It's not that I don't like them. It's just that I wish they were always that cohesive. Give them an insurmountable task and they function like clockwork. Leave them to their own devices and suddenly they are all at odds. Shouting and arguing and fighting. Going behind each other's backs... I just miss how it was before Father disappeared."

The log was halfway consumed with yellow and blue flames, so Dean sat back butting shoulders with the half naked swimmer. "Yeah. I miss how Sammy and I were when Dad was alive. It was shitty, but we were always a team, you know? And now it's like we're strangers."

They both let out twin sighs.

"We should add real wood to that if we want any heat," Cas said after a while. Dean moved to grab the wood box. It too was stacked with newly added kindling and neatly chopped logs of birch. They both set about putting logs and sticks carefully over the burning fake log, seeming to bump into each other on accident. Both knowing they weren't doing it on accident.

When that was done they sat, shoulder to shoulder, neither daring to look at the other. At least not when the other was looking at him. Silence dragged out in the tense air.

"Hmph." Dean huffed out in a half laugh as he threw a stick into the fire.

Cas narrowed his eyes, glancing over at Dean, "What?"

"This just reminded me of that night..." Dean trailed off, fidgeting, uncomfortable in the remembering.

"Except this time we aren't dying of hypothermia?" Cas offered, smiling and looking down at the floor.

"Right..." Dean looked away nervously, why couldn't he just make a god damned move. The decision was taken out of his hands as Cas was suddenly in front of him, his lips pressing against his own. Not expecting the intrusion Dean leaned back, sitting down heavily on the couch. Cas followed, coming crashing down on top of him. His skin was cold against him as their chests collided and legs and arms tangled.

There was a second where things may have stalled, but Cas was determined and with a tiny repositioning lips, they were once more reunited. The world became insular, consisting of just the two of them. Cold skin quickly flushing under the exertion. Lips and tongues took turns at turning the other on to the point of moans. It wasn't long before other parts began to respond, and with the precarious position Cas had put them in they were instantly aware of each other's arousal.

Dean pulled his head back in shock at the feeling of Castiel's erection against his thigh. Green eyes searched blue, did they seem even bluer than before? Cas, arms stretched taut holding himself over him, pelvis still flush with pelvis, looking down with hunger and a hint of worry.

Dean’s eyes roved down the swimmers muscled chest catching a glimpse of twin erections peeking out of swim trunks and speedo, then back to the other mans face. His eyes wide, his vision going in and out of focus for a moment. "Cas."

"Dean?" He asked, his voice rough with gravel.

"Yes," was all he said.

The edge of Castiel's mouth twitched into a little smirk. It was enough to stall his mounting anxiety. Dean pulled him close and kissed the man fiercely, his tongue penetrating the others lips. He ground his erection against Cas and moaned out into his mouth. Cas pulled back, but before he could protest he saw what he was up to and was too stunned to move.

Cas pulled their bodies apart his hands smoothly taking care of Dean's swim trunks as he slid away. He took a moment to look at his naked body spread out on before him, then he knelt down between his legs.

He then bent down and took Dean's hardening cock into his mouth. Dean thought he might explode all at once with the wet hot sensation. Cas moved up and down, his tongue swirling around the head as far as it would go. Dean clutched at the carpet till he found one of Cas's hands and he gripped it tight as he rode the sweet sensations coursing through him under the man's care.

Soon it was too much. The man had to stop or it would all be over. He pulled on his hand, gasping. "Cas! Cas, stop please oh god. Please.."

Cas pulled away gently, letting his now engorged cock flop wetly on his belly. Dean was already moving, scrambling to his feet, to try and calm himself from coming all over the blanket. He pushed Cas up onto the couch, following his earlier lead and pulling off the swimmers tight speedo as he he moved. Cas sat back on the couch and kicked the speedo from his feet gracefully. Dean hardly noticed. Confronted with the man's full and magnificent cock.

He took it up in his hand, stroking smoothly down and up, in the well practiced way he was already quite familiar with. Cas dug his hands into the edge of the couch, his head slowly leaning back. Dean licked his lips watching the man's every move, every breath. Then he leaned forward licking the underside of his cock from balls to head. Castiel gasped, his body beginning to tremble slightly.

"Oh, God." He whimpered as he licked around the head, he tasted of skin and river water, but mostly he tasted like Cas. It was incredible. He moved his hand away so he could swallow him all up. Filled him with his hot full cock. Took him in til he hit the back of his throat making him gag.

He pulled back, coughing slightly and feeling nauseous. Castiel's hands were in his hair pulling him back to let him breathe. Their eyes met, but Dean tried to look away embarrassed.

"Dean, slowly," Cas said, his gravelly voice kind and soothing. Dean did look up at him then, finding black blown pupils piercing into him. He didn't say anything else and Dean nodded, the high flush of his cheeks calming slightly as he bent back down to try again. This time he took him up slower. Taking his time to let his mind wrap around the sensation of the large object in his mouth. He relaxed as Cas brushed his fingers along his scalp soothingly, but not forcefully. He licked his tongue around the bulk of him and when the magnificent thing hit the back of his throat he relaxed and let it all in.

He worked his mouth around, but only for a moment before his gag reflex tried to react once more. This time he disengaged slowly and with intention. Castiel didn't seem to mind when he looked up at him again, his head thrown back looking up at the ceiling, breathing ragged. Dean moved up between his legs coming over his leg to sit next to him, keeping one leg draped over the swimmer's giant muscular thigh. For a minute they sat staring into each others eyes panting. Then Cas's hand reached over and started to pump his spit slick member slowly up and down. Dean, not looking away from the other man's eyes did the same for him. For a moment it was like a contest of wills. Eyes unblinking as they worked each other with smooth practiced motions.

Dean broke first, gasping out as Cas changed position his hand flipping upside down to get a better grip. It was all Dean could do but hold onto to Castiel's dick while he came all over Castiel's hand with viscous thick white glory. Castiel came not far behind, apparently turned on enough just by the sight of him coming.

They sat there panting on the couch, tentatively taking their hands off each other as they shrank down to normal size, both covered in each others goo. When next their eyes met they both burst out laughing.

They decided to take another swim in the river. Not the least of reasons to rinse off. When they returned the fire had burned low and the room was cozy warm. Worn out though still slightly nervous around each other, they managed to fall asleep tangled on the couch as they watched the dying embers.

 

#  
They woke early the next morning, the sun filtering in the dusty windows at an ungodly hour. Dean caught Castiel's eye and he gave him a languorous smile.

"Hello, Dean." He said, his voice rough with sleep.

"Hello, Cas." Dean responded with a small smile.

"Hello, boys." Came an irritated short British gentleman standing over them.

They both looked up and practically fell off of the couch in their rush to get up.

"Mind explaining yourselves?" the man asked, not looking amused.

"Mr. Crowley I didn't know you were coming out this summer-"

"Obviously. Look I won't bother asking why you broke into my place," He looked them up and down, both hiding behind the tartan blanket as their swim trunks were still laid out to dry in front of the dead fire. "But I will ask that you get everything back into order before you go. I will be upstairs unpacking and I hope," he said sternly, "by the time I am back there will be no evidence you two were ever here. Clear?"

"Yes, Mr. Crowley, sir," Castiel and Dean stammered out almost in unison.

"Excellent." And he walked away, as he put a foot on the bottom stair he added. "Oh and you both owe me favor. I'll let you know when."

As soon as the old man was gone, they dropped the blanket and grabbed up their dried swim shorts from the floor. Dean set to getting the couch and blankets back in order while Castiel somehow made the fireplace look like it hadn't just had a fire burning in it all night. Dean was extra glad he had taken the time to pick the lock instead of breaking any windows the day before and they snuck out into the dawn closing the door with barely a snick.

When they were halfway up the driveway they looked over their shoulders back at the little cabin, catching each other's eye they both started to laugh. The walk back to Castiel's was leisurely with burst of shoving, running and teasing and few stolen kisses.

Dean realized that Cas had fallen behind, turning around he saw Cas's steps slowing as they approached the driveway to his home.

"Worried they'll be waiting for you?" Dean asked.

Castiel frowned, looking at the ground. "I'm more worried that they didn't even notice I was gone." He took a few steps to catch up with Dean then he added. "I guess really, I just don't want our time together to end."

Dean wasn't sure what to say to that, and taking a deep breath he made himself grab Cas's hand. Cas's hand slipped easily into his and they walked to the house.

Turned out all the cars except Dean's were gone and the house was empty. As stood their perplexed for a minute, then he made a silent "Oh" with his lips."

"What?"

"It's uh, Sunday." Dean made his own, oh.

"Yeah, right. Do you want a ride to the church?"

Cas looked at the sky, then down the driveway. Then he shook his head. "No."

Dean smiled. He too didn't want this time to end.


	10. Revelations

The rest of the summer went by quickly. Whenever they could Dean and Cas would skulk down the river, when they couldn't they would find other reasons to be together. They became regulars at the Harvelle’s diner with the greasiest burgers and the best milkshakes in town. It took awhile longer to find a place to explore each other further, and most nights they just ended up in the back seat of the Impala.

Too soon though, the long days of summer were cut short. Unsurprisingly, at least to Castiel in hindsight, was that the trouble all started when he took Dean to his house in Haven Heights.

Most of the summer he had managed to stay down at the river lodge. His brothers didn't much care where he was, as long as he made it to church on Sundays and kept up his divers training schedule. Now that funds were low he wasn't expected to keep up with a summer tutor so his time was mostly his own.

Dean pulled up in the impala, kicking up dust in the dry hot air as he parked in the long driveway. He made a low whistle as he exited 'Baby', the name Castiel had learned was the cars.

Castiel stood up from the steps and waited for him.

"This is your house?" Dean asked, suitably astonished.

"Yes, Dean."

"And they can't afford to send you to private school because...?"

Castiel shrugged. "Want the tour?"

 

#

 

Cas lead them out of the dining room and out into the foyer. And up a staircase with polished wood and gold flecked cream wallpaper. There was even a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

"Why don't you live here all the time?"

Cas shrugged. "This is the official house. The river house is home most of the year though. Me Gabe and Michael prefer it out there. Raph and Balthy love this place and refuse to sell it, even though we could use the money."

The mounted the stairs and took a left down a long hallway, there were portraits. Actual painted portraits with gold frames lining the right side wall.

The first one was a small man with wavy hair and a beard.

"Who's that?"

"That's Father," Cas said, nodding his head, with a slight reverence towards the portrait.

"And that's your mother?" Dean asked of the portrait adjacent.

"No, that's his sister, Amara. She died when I was little."

Dean looked down the line, seeing no other women close enough to make out. "You're mother doesn't have a portrait?"

Cas flushed red. "Oh well, we're all. I mean we're adopted."

It was Dean's turn to blush. "Oh I didn't-"

"No, it's fine. It's hard to explain."

Dean waved it off. "You don't have to explain to me man. Families are families."

Cas nodded. "I mean dad did have a wife, she died when I was a toddler. I don't even remember what she looked like, Dad got rid of all the pictures of her, pretended she didn't exist." Cas shrugged, “I only know cause I heard my brothers fighting about her once or twice and I finally got Gabriel to tell me about it. 

Dean listened in rapt silence as they walked slowly past the portraits of his brothers. Dean stopped when they got to Castiel's. He must have been about ten when the portrait was done, an awkward chubby cherub like thing, with the same piercing blue eyes and unruly black hair.

"You and Michael are actually...blood related, right?"

Cas whipped his head around to him. "Yeah, actually. How did you-"

"Just a hunch."

"No one ever...yeah he's my brother."

"Is that why you are always so at odds?"

"Michael...he was one of the first to be adopted. He still resents that Father adopted me as well, even if it was ten years later. He wants...wanted to be special."

Castiel's was the last portrait, him being the youngest, but Cas led him down the long hall a ways more and put his hand on a door knob. As he was opening the door he saw that he had been mistaken, there was one last portrait on the opposite wall by the door.

He felt like he was being slapped in the face as he recognized the man before him. He had a smug self satisfied expression on his face, even in portrait form. 

Dean stared at his face, and lost his god-damned mind. 

 

#  
"Why...why do you have a picture of Lucifer on your wall?"

Cas whipped his head around to stare at Dean. Looking from him to the portrait of his uncle and back to Dean. "That, umm, isn't Lucifer? Why would you call him that?" Cas asked, feeling like he's been doused in cold water.

Dean had gone as pale as a sheet and was clenching his fists and jaw. "That's the man that ordered the death of my father. That's Lucifer. The cops showed me his picture before the trial."

Cas felt like he couldn't move. Like he was rooted to the floor. It was an effort to speak, his words came out rough. "That's my uncle, Nick."

"He's your uncle," Dean was taking slow steps backward as if to get away from the portrait.

"Dean-" Cas tried to get him to talk to him, the expression on Dean’s face terrified him. “Dean?”

"No. Cas I can't..." He turned towards the door and was gone before Cas could find the words. When he finally gathered himself he ran out of the room the other direction knowing a faster way to where Dean had parked the Impala.

He got to the car a couple seconds before Dean.

Dean startled as Cas seemed to appear out of nowhere in front of him blocking his door to Baby.

"Dean wait."

~~~

Dean didn't want to listen. He almost decided to abandon the car and run away, but something in Castiel's face made him stop.

"He is my uncle." Castiel explained. "He started calling himself Lucifer when he was nineteen, he and his friends thought it was funny since my father was the pastor here. It drove my dad crazy. My father tried to get him help, but he wouldn't accept. You're sure he's the-"

"I will never forget that face Cas. Why the hell do you still have his portrait on the wall."

"My brother, Raphael insists we leave it up, after all 'he's family as anyone else'. Thinks that whatever happened between him and Dad wasn't Nick's fault. Michael could care less about it so he lets it be, but Gabe and Balthy argue all the time about it."

"And you?"

Cas stared at his feet. "I stay out of their stupid arguments. But if I had known...Dean, will you please tell me what happened to you?"

"I need to go Cas..." Dean said after an awkward moment. Cas nodded, looking defeated. But he stepped out of the way.

He was surprise when Dean patted him on the shoulder as he stepped passed him. Dean wrenched open the door and slid into the seat and he looked back at Cas. Dean made a sharp movement and indicated he should get in the car.

#  
They drove.

Dean turned up the stereo, blasting some heavy guitar laden music on much too loud. They drove on and on until it was midday then Dean turned the car towards a destination. When they reached the driveway of Castiel's river home, he didn't protest. Dean pulled to the side of the drive and turned off the car.

"It is a long story." Dean stalled, looking straight ahead into the trees.

"I'm not going anywhere," Castiel said, matter of fact.

"My mom was killed when I was just a kid," He started gruffly. Cas swallowed, feeling both blessed that Dean would tell him and cursed to learn what Dean had gone through and to learn what his uncle had done. "They said it was arson. My dad says that she was dead before the fire broke out. The fire was just a cover. I don't really know. I was only four. They never caught anyone.”

"My dad was a local deputy sheriff at the time, and he sort of became obsessed with finding her killer. He got really good at detective work, and when the evidence started taking him farther away from Lawrence he became a US Marshall. We ended up traveling almost constantly, living out of motel rooms most of the time. By the time I was twelve I could drive a car, shoot any gun you put in my hands and was even helping out on cases.”

"A couple years back my dad got a lead. A rumor of this man named Lucifer and his cult. Dad didn't know it but I read the file he was given. Lucifer had two right hand followers, two he called his children, though they were closer to his own age. The leader was they knew where one of the followers was, this Allen Zelwieger, or Azazel as he was called. He stashed me and Sam at his friends house and...disappeared, we didn't hear from him for months.”

“He went so deep undercover he was nowhere. We got word that someone had caught the daughter, Meg someone. They put her away on charges of drug peddling to minors and second degree murder.”

"Then one night he shows up out of the blue, he practically beats down the door, tells us to pack our bags and be ready to leave in a half hour.” Dean choked a bit, and continued, tears running down his cheeks “We never made it out of the living room.”

"Azazel had followed him home," Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and continued. "He busted in behind dad as if he had just been waiting to spring the trap. Maybe he had, who knows how long the man had been out there in the bushes. He was yelling at Dad and waving a gun around. Just screaming that Dad had taken his sister away and how would he like it if he lost someone close to him, then he took aim at me and..." Dean's voice cracked. "Dad...Dad he...he stepped in front of the gun and took the bullet meant for me."

"I didn't let myself think, Dad had taught me what to do in almost any combat situation. I took the opportunity that my dad had given me and I ran out of the room and upstairs. For that one minute I forget my brother was still in the house. I ran and got out the only weapon I knew in the house, an antique Colt Bobby kept in his office. I grabbed it off his wall and the box of bullets off the shelf and I loaded as many as I could while running back out in the hall.”

"Below me I saw my worst nightmare, Azazel had Sam in a headlock, gun pointed to his head. He had grinned up at me with malice while he told me to say goodbye to my brother, and how proud his father, how proud Lucifer, would be. I still don't know if he was going to take Sam or kill him, but to me, right then it didn't matter, I aimed at his face and I shot him right then. He still had a grin on his face when he hit the floor.

"Bobby found us I think. He had heard the gunshots and come running in from the shop. Sam and I just sat in shock on the stairs while he tried to do CPR on Dad.” Dean trailed off, lost in the memory of it. 

“They found a picture of Lucifer and Meg in his wallet. It was used for evidence, I saw it several times during the trial.

"That man was the one in that portrait at your house."

~~~

 

Castiel sat completely still as he listened to Dean. He didn't interrupt, but this was more than he had bargained for. All the conversations his brothers had had around him, and even some vague memories of his father talking in low tone to his eldest brother suddenly came back to him sharp relief. It all made sense really. He had never wanted to put the pieces together before, but now he had to face it. Had to face the truth sitting out there that Dean had finally made him really look at.

Cas didn't know what to say, so he reached out a hand and tried to thread his fingers in with Dean's. Dean let him take his hand for a moment and they sat like this, as they had so often that summer. Then he abruptly pulled his hand from Cas.

"Cas, I need to think about this for a-" he choked a little, tears leaking down his cheeks finally. "Can you-"

Cas nodded sharply and exited the Impala, closing the door meekly so it didn't slam shut. He didn't glance at the car as it pulled away from him, until he was almost out of sight down the driveway. His heart rending in two, he started to strip, his t-shirt and his pants as he marched down to the dock. It wasn't that warm, fall was starting to settle in, but it wasn't frigid like it had been that night in January. Spring was a fickle time of year. He ignored the cold as he kicked his pants off his feet, standing there in his boxers. He took to running and made a less than perfect dive into the cold, cold river.


	11. The Part In Which Mistakes are Made

Pulling himself up onto the dock, he almost fell back into the water finding someone standing there above him, face in shadow. He had to wipe the water from his eyes to finally recognize the figure before him.

"Gabriel?"

"The one and only, brother." He said, cocking his head and spreading his arms wide. Cas noticed Gabe was holding his tan coat and t-shirt. "Want to explain why I found a trail of your clothes leading to the dock?" His brother asked.

Cas wiped more water from his hair, shivering a little in the frigid air as he settled himself on the wooden planks. The slight breeze making him truly regret his decisions. He tried to speak, to explain how he had come to be where he was, but it came out as a shocking sob and his body wracked with shivers. Gabriel's face changed to one of concern and he stepped forward, swinging the tan coat around Castiel's shoulders.

"Whoa, dude, are you okay?" He patted his back awkwardly.

Cas shook his head, unable to speak as another ugly sob escaped him. Gabriel hunched down beside him, oblivious to the cold water on the dock, he rubbed Castiel's shoulders and arms in some lame attempt to warm him up. The added warmth of his brothers hands made it even harder to hold back the tears, and he just let himself cry for a minute. Gabe stopped touching him and sat down next to him, lending his shoulder for support. Blessedly he kept quiet until Cas was done, and had leaned back to wipe his nose and calm down.

"So," Gabe finally broke the awkward silence. "Dean Winchester."

Cas looked at him sideways.

"I'm not just a pretty face," He said, smirking and tapping the side of his head to indicate he was also clever. "I'm not exactly sure of your choice, mind," he shrugged, "but as someone with a little experience with these things," Cas struggled to keep his skepticism off his face. "I doubt you had much choice in the matter. Plus he's smoking hot."

"How would you know," Castiel asked thickly.

"I am a connoisseur of beauty. I mean, look at me!" Cas couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips for a moment at his brother’s ridiculous sense of humor. 

"Gabe, what is your point?" He asked gruffly. Not quite ready to let go of his grief.

"My point is, men are dicks. And Dean Winchester is a complicated fellow. That being said, if he hurt you, he's not worth it."

Cas closed his eyes, taking this all in. Breathing deep in and out, like he did before a dive. "I'm not sure he meant to hurt me," He managed to say, between breaths.

"Ah, but you cannot know his intentions, can you. He hurt you. What else matters."

What else mattered? Maybe the truth?

"Tell me about uncle Nick." He watched Gabe's face out of the corner of his eyes, as his open honest demeanor shut down at his question.

"Nick?" Gabe asked, his voice too high.

"Tell me the truth Gabe. What do you know about Uncle Nick...and what is has to do with Dean Winchester and...Dad's disappearance."

"Where did you..."

Cas turned to his brother, "Dean saw his portrait in Mike's office, then he bolted. I caught up with him and he told me what happened to him and his family and that Lucifer..uncle Nick was at the heart of it."

Gabe had retreated inside himself.

"I hear you guys arguing you know. I'm not stupid." Gabe remained quiet. "Just tell me what you know Gabe, I need to know what happened with Dad and Nick.”

Gabe seemed to mull over his options, then threw up his hands. “Alright, I guess you have me backed into a corner here. I’ll tell you what I know.”

Castiel sat in silence as Gabe told the story, it wasn't much more than he already knew, except for one important detail.

The trial.

Apparently his uncle had been arrested a few years ago and had been going by the name Lucifer at the time. He had been caught in suspicious circumstances that had led to a young man's death, and when they had investigated further it seemed he had been setting up a cult. There was something to do with a drug ring run by these cultists and Nick, Lucifer, had been at the center of it all.

They had held him for a million dollars bail thinking even for him that that would be enough to keep him in jail until the trial, but he had made it in a day.

"That was Dad."

"Wait, what?"

"That's what Michael says anyway. That Dad went down there to Texas to see him and by the end of the conversation he had decided to bail him out."

"Why would he do that?"

"They were brothers. Nick was his little brother, his favorite. Dad figured that Nick was just misguided, after all he had tried to emulate Dad and create his own church, ended up with a cult with drug money running things. Dad thought that he could get him to come back to the fold and he could help him."

"So what happened?"

"Azazel. The man that killed Dean Winchester's father." Gabe nodded, "yeah I knew who Dean was, even that first night. We all followed that story close."

"So why does Azazel matter?"

"As soon as Dad bailed him out, Nick vanished. We found out later it was because Azazel had been waiting to swoop in to 'rescue' him in case his family tried to interfere with their plans. They ran, along with a couple other young cultists they had been grooming. That's where Dean's father comes into play. Apparently Azazel had murdered his wife years ago, and Dean's Dad-"

"John Winchester," Castiel supplied the name.

"John," Gabe acknowledged, "had finally caught up to Azazel. They had a confrontation and John ended up shooting and killing this girl trying to get him. Nick managed to get away with the other kid and Azazel ended up hunting down John and his family hell bent on revenge for the death of his 'daughter'. That's what got Dean stuck in jail."

"So what happened to Nick?"

"Smoke in the wind. We can't find him. No one can. And trust me we've looked. Honestly that's why we had to stop your tuition for school. Michaels spent about all we had trying to find Lucifer and see what he did to Dad."

"You think he killed dad during the escape?"

Gabe looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I..."

"What?"

"Honestly? I don't think he did anything to Dad. I think Dad just left."

"Why?"

"Cause he realized what Nick really was, I think something happened when Azazel came to get Nick that made him realize what a monster uncle Nick really was and Dad couldn't face it. Couldn't accept that he had let him free on the world and he couldn't come home to us, or his congregation knowing what he'd done."

Castiel let this sink in, and he found himself nodding at the truth of it. "Fuck," He said.

This made Gabe laugh. "I don't think I have ever heard you swear, little brother. I suppose this is an appropriate time to start."

#  
When he got to the entrance of the junkyard, the gate was shut. He had never seen the place closed up before. He walked under the streetlamp and was startled when Anna stepped out of the shadows.

“Anna,” he was relieved, at least he had called in a friend. Anna had been away all summer visiting her older brother in California. He was glad Dean had called her to sort out his feelings. Maybe there was still hope. “How is he?”

“Go home, Castiel. You aren’t wanted here. Dean told me what you family did to him. He doesn’t need you anymore.”

“Anna...I didn’t know,” Castiel pleaded with her.

“And what are you going to do? Renounce your family?”

“Why would I do that?” Castiel asked, confused by her question. What did his ties to his brothers have to do with his uncle?

“You should leave them, Castiel. Rebel instead of allying yourself with those cretins.”

“I thought we were friends!” 

"You aren't my friend Castiel. You aren't anyone's friend. You're a soldier." Anna was lecturing, Castiel clenched his fists at his side, the street lamp above him feeling like a weight instead of just light.

"I-" Anna didn’t let him speak. 

"I don't know why I thought you had changed, honestly." And she turned away as if she would leave him there. 

Castiel looked away from her up into the light, "You are asking me to go against my family."

Anna turned back to him, "They aren't your family Castiel. They aren't looking out for you. All they care about is power."

“Anna…”

"Just go. You've done enough."

Castiel hung his head, "I was just trying to help."

"You keep telling yourself that," Anna spat at him. 

Castiel couldn’t flee fast enough. 

#

"I told him to go." Anna said when she returned. Dean was where she had left him, laying across the Impala's hood and staring up at the sky.

Dean grunted and took a swig from the bottle in his hand. Anna thought it was a bottle of whiskey. She stared up at the man and his perfect face. That delicate nose and those lips, so pink, so perfect.

He closed his eyes for a moment, then levered himself off of the car. He looked ready to go back into the house. Then he was right in front of her, looking down, eyes black blown and staring straight into her.

Anna wasn't a stranger to desire. It wasn't her first time around the block so to speak, but this was the first time in her life when she could say she finally understood word melt in response to desire for someone. Her knees felt weak and she felt like she was turning into a puddle of desire.

"He just left?" Dean asked, catching her off guard.

"Yeah,” She shrugged, “I told him to leave you alone. He'd done enough."

His eyes looked out into the distance over her shoulder for a long moment. Then he nodded to himself.

"You need a ride home?"

Anna felt her chest tighten. Surely he wasn't going to make her go home.

"I- well... Dean..." she eased out his name, putting everything she felt at the moment into it. Her desperation, her desire, her heart...

"Anna..." He said her name like it was an ache inside him. She willed herself to believe that, though perhaps some of her mind questioned it. He took that question away by pulling her close.

Maybe she knew this was wrong, but at that moment she just didn't care. She had been labeled a slut and a whore for over a year with absolutely nothing to show for it. Anyway, if Cas was going to abandon her now, it wasn't as if she owed him anything. It wasn't as if Dean was gay anyway. Look how he responded to her. Cas's school boy crush wasn't her concern now.

Right now she was going to take what she wanted.

He laid her down on the back seat, slowly unbuttoning her blouse. She rose up to meet his lips, and he kissed her back down, down, down.

 

#

Cas stood outside the lampposts circle of light, and didn’t move. Anna’s words echoing in his mind. What did she mean?

Was she just repeating something that Dean had said to her, or was it something else? If only there was something he could do that would let Dean know he wasn’t one of his brothers, or his uncle. To make him see that he was good. 

The gate swung open, giving a slight whine along it’s hinges. A hulking figure, hoody pulled up left the junkyard. 

Cas squinted after him, recognizing the height and bulk that had to be Sam Winchester, and followed at a distance. 

Where was he going at this time of night?


	12. A Plan Comes Together

This part of town always gave Castiel the creeps. He tried to shrug it off as Sam led them down a particularly dark alleyway. He glanced up at the street sign. Waterman St.

He ducked into a door in one of the warehouses and Cas silently followed, peeking in through a dusty window. Castiel stood transfixed as he watched Sam hug a girl with long dark hair. Ruby. He was urgently asking her something, she laughed at him, then took his hand and led him to a mattress on the floor. 

Cas thought that they were going to have sex, but then she pulled out a case with a syringe full of some red substance. She strapped his arm with a tourniquet and expertly injected the substance into his arm. Cas held in his gasp. Sam scrunched up tight against some sort of pain. His arm bulging out as he clenched his muscles. Castiel could not run fast enough. 

 

#  
Castiel was out of breath when he reached the familiar opening in the long fence that led into the junkyard. He had ran the whole way from the docks. The stitch in his side was excruciating, but he persevered. Despite his hurry he still paused as he crossed the threshold into the junkyard.

Some part of him always got a bit creeped out by the silent rusted out shells of cars and mountains of parts that cluttered every corner of the space. Another part of him had a secret fear of the large lazy dog that so far had done nothing but lift a head and look at him, but who he was certain could tear him apart if provoked. Dean had insisted his uncles dog was the laziest creature alive, but it didn't make him any less intimidating.

He hoisted himself up the side of the house using the broken up trellis and a drain pipe, coming to the first window, he saw a sleeping Dean laying in bed. The sight of him made him pause, holding his breath. What was he doing here?

 

#  
"425 Waterman." Came a gasping voice from the foot of his bed.

Dean woke to these strange words, his body felt leaden and and all he could muster was a twist of his head and a slight pushing up to get a better view.

He was more than a little shocked to find Castiel sitting on the side of his bed, back lit from the open window where the yellow light from a street lamp filtered in.

"Cas?" he grumbled out. Shock, anger and more than a little guilt rushing through him.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean stared at the boy on his bed. Neither said anything for too long. "Cas, what are you doing in my room?"

If anything this question made him even more reticent. He looked out the window, his face turning completely away from him. Dean dashed his head into the pillow, face first, then levered himself up into a sitting position. "Cas. Look, I know we-" his voice hitched on the word we. "What is it that you want?"

"I want you to go to 425 Waterman street."

Dean pinched his nose, "Why?"

"Do you know where Sam is?"

Dean felt like the man was talking in riddles and it was making hims tetchy. "Sam, what? Of course- he's..." but then he realized he didn't really know. After his tryst with Anna, he had gone straight to the shower then to bed, hating himself, Anna, Castiel and the world all at the same time. 

Dean got up and threw open the door and went to his brothers adjacent room. He hesitated before opening the door. What if Cas was just messing with him. What if Cas was like his uncle. But he went in. It was empty, the bed was a mess, clothes strewn everywhere. Sam's homework sat untouched on the floor next to the bed. The room smelled of sweaty teenager and the window was wide open.

"Damn it."

He marched back into his room, "How did you know he was gone?"

Cas looked up towards heaven, as if looking for strength. “I came by earlier, to talk, to tell you what I learned from Gabe, but Anna came out and told me to leave. Before I did I saw Sam sneak out and decided...decided to follow him.”

Dean processed this. He had known Anna had talked to him, now he wondered why he had let her do such a thing. He nodded.

"What's with all the noise?" Bobby's voice came from the hall.

He opened his mouth to explain, then changed his mind. "We need to get down to the river district." He said to Bobby, eyes still on the man with the ragged trench coat.

"Why? it's one in the morning!" Bobby asked

"Sammy's missing."

 

~~~

 

It felt like a punch in the gut. He watched as Sam lay there on an filthy mattress, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. Next to him sat a girl with long black hair, her back to the window. The girl sat there on her phone, looking bored. Sam made a noise then levered his impossibly tall body, causing the girl to cry out in annoyance as it moved her on the bed. He got to his feet and started to pace.

Dean felt his jaw clench tight, a familiar feeling rising up in his chest. Like a sleeping dragon in his chest. His ears seemed to go deaf as the ringing started up.

After a frustrating minute trying to find an unlocked door, he stormed into the warehouse. The opening and subsequent slamming of the old metal door echoed loudly as he stalked into the large open room of the abandoned warehouse space. He barely noticed Castiel at his heels.

He stalked across the debris littered concrete floor, Sam saw him coming, and looked stricken, and tried to back away. The black haired girl stood and taking one look at the murderous look on Dean's face, bolted. Dean barely noticed as he crashed into his brother grabbing him by the t-shirt and slamming him into the wall. He grunted on the impact, his eyes wild.

"Dean! Dean let me explain-" Sam put up his hands defensively but made no move to knock Dean's hands away.

"Let you explain? You think you can explain this away?" Dean was shouting. 

"Dean, I was just-" Sam looked terrified under his brother’s close scrutiny. 

"Getting high?" Dean filled in for him. 

"It's not what you think!" Sam begged. 

Seconds later lights flashed through the windows, and the sound of people arguing.

"We'll discuss this at home." And he dropped Sam's shirt from his grip and walked away without looking back. Sam fell into step, not even glancing at Cas as they funneled out where Bobby sat with the car idling on the street.

 

#

 

Dean sat in sullen silence in the driver’s seat of the Impala, hands on the steering wheel. He had sent Bobby inside with Sam, and told him to lock him in his room. Sam had gone willingly enough, but they were going to have to call around to some rehab joints in the morning. 

He had also told Castiel to go home, but there standing in his headlights was his guardian angel, his boyfriend, his Castiel. Not leaving. 

He said nothing, just squinting through the lights at him. Concern, worry, hurt all scrunched up in his brow. Longing.

He switched off the car and the lights, and beckoned him to come in.

“Cas… Thank you.” He managed to get out. He felt a tear streak down one cheek. Castiel reached out and wiped it away. 

“You are welcome Dean, i just hope we can get him the help he needs.”

Dean nodded, gathering himself. 

“I- I’m sorry.”

Castiel turned to him, letting his hand cover Dean’s "I understand Dean. He ruined my families lives as well. You have the right to be angry."

“But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You have been nothing but kind with me. And that isn’t all I am apologizing for.”

“What else is there?” Cas asked. 

Dean sighed. “I slept with Anna. Tonight.”

Cas’s eyes widened, the look of betrayal washing over him, and he sat up ramrod straight. “Oh.” Was all he managed, pulling his hand away. 

“It was a mistake. In so many ways...it was awkward, and… she..she wasn’t you,” he ended lamely. 

Cas scrunched his brow at this, fighting back tears.

“I only...I think I wanted to punish myself as much as you. I convinced myself in the moment that it was me acting gay that had allowed all this to happen. That it was prison that had changed me and if I just went back to liking girls...I don’t know Cas. It was really stupid and really fast and I sent her home, telling her it was a mistake. Which I think made things worse. Cause now I’ve not only lost a friends, but I probably ruined what we have-” 

Dean was stopped from his tirade by a very grumpy Cas grabbing his face in both his hands. 

 

“Dean Winchester. You don’t get to decide how I react to things. Just give me a moment to process.” His blue eyes seemed to spark in the odd light of his headlights reflecting off the tin walls of the shop. 

Dean nodded, snapping his mouth such, and feeling drained. 

Cas huffed out. “I am upset by this news, because frankly I liked having you all to myself. But I understand why you did it. Do you think it will happen again?”

Dean tried to shake his head, even with Cas’s hands holding it still. 

“Okay then. See that it doesn’t.” Then he kissed him. Dean started to cry like a little baby, and Cas kissed away his tears as well. 

Guardian angel, indeed. 

Then he stopped, dropped his hands from his face, though he grabbed up Dean’s hands in the same motion. 

“Now, as to my uncle. I think...I think Michael or Raphael may know where he is.”

“What?”

“Look, I told you, they all argue a lot, and they don’t always pay attention if I am around or not. I didn’t know about uncle.. About Lucifer until you told me, but from what Gabe told me and you and what I’ve overheard over the last couple years I have the feeling at least one of them knows.”

"Let me talk to Michael and see what I can find out," Castiel said.

Dean knew how much Castiel didn’t want to talk to the eldest Novak. "You...you'd do that for me?"

Castiel turned to him looking incredulous, "Dean...I thought it was obvious, I will do anything for you."

Dean sat there in stunned silence, then decided he had known. He'd known that for a long time.

“Let’s go get some sleep,” Dean offered. 

Cas nodded, a little sad. “I hope you don’t mind, my room’s a little cluttered.” He had never offered to let Cas stay in his room before. 

Cas looked at him, then gave a small smile. “I think that will be fine, Dean.”  
#

 

Michael sat behind his father’s desk, as usual. Castiel pushed the door open and walked up to him without preamble. Dean at his heels.

 

“Michael, we need to talk.”

Michael blinked up at him, setting down the file he was looking at and raised an eyebrow. “Do we, Castiel. Do enlighten me.”

“I know about Lucifer, and I think you know where he is. We need to find him and he needs to be arrested.”

“Whoa, Castiel, slow down.” Michael held up his hands. His eyes flicking to Dean. 

“Michael, don’t play with me. I know you already know who Dean is and what Lucifer did to his family. If you know where he is you have to help us put him behind bars.”

Michael took in a tight breath, looking him up and down. Gabriel popped his head in. “Come on Mikey, the kid needs to know, his love life is at stake.”

Castiel shot Gabe a look of pure venom.

“Fine. Castiel, what do you want to know. I do not know where Lucifer is…exactly.” Michael hedged, still eyeing Dean as if he didn’t want him there at all. Which Castiel supposed, he didn’t. 

“What do you know?” Castiel demanded. 

“Gabe, please shut the door.” Michael ordered. Gabe shut it and walked up to stand next to Cas.

“Fine, look you’re right, I think Lucifer is nearby, but seriously the man is not easy to find. I’ve had some sightings, but it’s always too late to figure out where he is.”

“How do you even know that much?” Dean asked. 

“There’s a blogger, a journalist that has been tracking him for years. Every once in awhile he actually gets a picture of him, but even he is having trouble keeping tabs on him.”

“Can we see?”

Michael pulled up the website, and showed them the blog posts, there weren’t many, but there were a few pictures. Cas recognized one of the other people in one. 

“Can you get in touch with this fellow?” He asked Michael, certain the man already had communication with the man. 

Michael sighed again. “And why should I?”

“Azazel told Dean that he wanted to make his family suffer, we think that Lucifer might still be trying to mess with the Winchesters. That woman there, has been supplying Sam with drugs for months.”

Michael finally looked like he was onboard. He sighed, then picked up the phone. 

There was a pause then he said into the receiver. “Can you come upstairs? Yes, it’s urgent. Thank you.”

 

A few moments passed and there was a knock on the study door. And his father entered the room. 

Castiel gasped out “Dad?” and ran over to give him a hug. 

“Castiel!” He exclaimed and gave him a small hug then stepped back. “Son.” He said. His eyes flicking over to Michael accusingly. 

“Michael, you said it was urgent. I asked you to keep my presence secret.”

“I know father, but they have new information, and I think we have a way to trap Nick once and for all.”


	13. Chapter 13

It hadn’t been easy, but Sam had managed to escape about a week after being caught. Bobby and Dean had been trying to secure a rehab facility for days, but nothing was panning out. Meanwhile Sam had started to go through some serious withdrawals. 

He had managed to pick the lock sneak out to the kitchen to use the phone (they had removed his when they locked him in his room)and call Ruby without anyone noticing. She had climbed the side of the house to open his window and let him out. 

She had brought him out to the city docks, where they were to meet up with her supplier. 

Sam felt like his head was going to split open if he didn’t get his fix soon, so he followed her to the parked car in the abandoned parking lot by the water. 

Headlights ticked on, flooding the parking lot with stark yellow lights. Sam turned his head from it, blinded momentarily, he put out his arm as if he could shield Ruby from it as well.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here." Came a voice from the shadowed figure who now stood with the lights behind him. His eyes couldn't focus enough to see him clearly. "Ruby, what did you bring me?" Sam recognized the voice of the dealer from the park. 

Ruby stepped away from his protective arm. Sam looked back at her, confused. She smirked at his confusion. "A little present." Ruby said, giving Sam a little push forward. "The Winchester boy."

"Good girl." His smile was wide and there was a glint in his eye. "You were always my favorite of Azazel's children." At the name of his father's murderer, Sam stiffened. Realizing too late the depth of the betrayal, and also figuring out who the man was in front of him. The mastermind behind all of it. Luci. 

“Lucifer.”

He didn't realize he'd said the name out loud until the man started to chuckle. "The one and only." And he turned into the light, arm's wide as if it were a magic trick. Now he could see his features. Now he knew the face of the devil himself.

Sam realized he was probably about to die.

"Leave him alone, Nick," Came a voice from outside the circle of headlights, Lucifer stopped his slow approach towards Sam, a slight frown on his lips.

A man stepped into the light, it took Sam a moment to place him, it was Cas's brother Michael. Lucifer's goons moved their weapons to train on him instead of Sam. Then another figure walked into the light, and another, Gabriel, Raphael. Then Castiel and...Dean. More men stepped out, men Sam didn't know until Lucifer and his gang were surrounded.

"You gonna have them shoot all of us Uncle?" Michael asked.

Lucifer smirked and stepped up to his nephew. "You think you have me Michael?"

"Brother?" Came a new voice. They all turned to find a small man, hair a mess of brown curls, edged with gray around the temples.

He seemed like an unassuming man, his clothes were shades of gray and brown, and there wasn't much too him. But he held himself with a quiet energy radiating off of him.

"Why don't we stop this charade, Nick?" He said. We have your little gang surrounded. Give us the boy and let's put an end to this suffering."

Sam, in this moment, caught Dean's eye, who was for some reason looking directly at him. Sam realized that Nick and his goons were distracted by the small man and decided that this was his opportunity.

He broke the grip of the men holding him and took a diving leap at Lucifer. Time seemed to slow as he tackled Lucifer to the ground along with Michael who had been standing next to him and they all crashed to the ground under his weight.

Gunshots went off, and he felt something impact his side before everything went black.

 

#

 

Dean stood over Sam’s bed while he slept, Bobby patting him on the shoulder. 

“Does everyone in this family have to be a damned hero?” Dean asked.

“People are protective of you for a reason Dean. We all know you’d do the same for us.”

Dean sighed. The thought that His father and brother had both stepped in front of bullets to save him was a little too much for him to accept. 

“The Doc says he’ll be fine, Dean. Why don’t you go home and get some rest.” Bobby insisted, not for the first time.

“No, Bobby, until he wakes up I am staying right here. Me being gone is what got him into this mess. I won’t leave him again until he’s ready.”

Bobby nodded, seeing the wisdom of his words. “I’ll go see what’s available in this cafeteria.”

“Bring me a cheeseburger if they have such a thing.”Dean pulled up a chair next to Sam’s bed.

“Will do.” And Bobby sauntered out of the room, passing Castiel in the doorway. 

Dean smiled at him as he came in. “Cas…”

“Is he doing alright?”

“Doc says he’ll be fine, bullet missed anything vital. They were more concerned about him hitting his head on the ground, but he seems fine. They’ve drugged him up and will probably be asleep for another couple hours.”

Castiel ran a hand up his arm, and pulled him in for a sideways hug. “I am so sorry this didn’t go as planned.”

Dean leaned into him and kissed him on the head. “There was no way we could have known that Sam would sneak out, though honestly I don’t know how else we could have drawn out Lucifer.”

“True. Dad says that he really wasn’t sure our plan would have worked without Sam being the bait.”

“Speaking of Chuck, I mean...why are you here instead of with your family?”

Cas looked at the floor. “You are my family. And Dad says he’s back to stay, I’ll have time to...be around him later. Right now I need to be here with you.” Dean felt something loosen in his chest. “Oh, Dad said you and Bobby and Sam are invited to the lake house for Christmas Dinner.”

Dean laughed. “Pull up a chair, we have some waiting to do.”


	14. Happy Endings and Hot Chocolate

"Hot cocoa?" He held out the steaming mug.

Cas look up at him his head tilted the steam wrapped around his head making it look in the lamp light like he had a halo.

He held up his hands like a supplicant to take the hot chocolate and Dean carefully handed it over so it wouldn't spill. Lowering himself to the wood planks next to the blanketed man he sighed.

Cas took a loud slurp of the stuff, marshmallows bumping into his nose. Then he lifted his head to look over at Dean who was trying desperately not to shiver despite his layers.

Cas's eyes widened as he swallowed the hot stuff. He let out a little cough. "There's whiskey in here," It wasn't a question. Dean shrugged, hoping that wasn't something he wouldn't like. He had made such a mess of things.

"Family recipe," Dean replied automatically.

"My brothers don't keep liquor in the house," Cas said, his eyes flicking up to the cabin on the hill where the festivities were still taking place.

"That you know about," He said pointedly then pulled the flask from his pocket shaking the small amount of liquid around to show him. "But I keep a flask."

Cas snorted and took another loud sip.

"Where's yours?" Cas grumbled out, sniffing after a moment.

"I didn't think to get myself any," Dean admitted sheepishly, clasping his together after he put the flask back in his jeans. It was freezing out her.

"Dean..." Cas sighed out. He could listen to his angel say his name forever. Even when he was exasperated with him.

"Want some of mine?" He held the cup up invitingly.

Dean eyes the steaming cup longingly, but shook his head, "That one is all yours."

"I insist."

"No, Cas," Dean looked down for a second, then back up at him. "Let me do something nice for once." Dean pleaded, turning to face the man, there faces hovering over the steaming mug. He could smell the chocolate and whiskey, felt the steam on his chin, but his eyes were stuck on sparkling blue irises. Cas absently licked his chapped lips and Dean followed after kissing him softly.

Cas fumbled the cocoa filled mug spilling it on touching thighs. Yelping they both pulled away Cas shaking off a chocolate drenched hand while his other hand held the mug out of harms way.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" Dean apologized brushing off his leg as if that would do anything helpful. The scalding hot was cooling rapidly.

"No, I-er" Cas was blushing and stumbling over his word. "I just wasn't expecting-"

"It's my fault. I should have let you drink it, I was being selfish-"

This made Cas pause his flailing and he carefully set the remainder of cocoa down on the planks as far from him as he could reach. He then took his sticky hands and grasped Deans firmly, pulling him close.

"Don't ever apologize for kissing me again," and he closed the distance between their lips. He tasted like chocolate and whiskey and underneath it all something that must be all Cas. Almost like cinnamon or allspice. Dean delved his tongue into his mouth for a better taste.

This time the spreading warmth was from his gut and between them. They soon forgot about arguments, cocoa, and freezing pant legs.

He wasn't 100% sure if it was the cold or nervousness at kissing Cas, but something made him start to shiver.

Cas pulled back, "You're shaking," Cas inched closer so their hips were touching, holding out his arms to take him under the plaid blanket.

"Why do we always end up freezing under blankets when we're together?" Dean asked after they shifted into a more comfortable position, Cas's arms around his middle and hands clasped in Cas's lap.

Cas chuckled, "We do, don't we? Maybe we should stop coming to the river."

Dean thought about this, then he thought about the hip pressed against his and the arm around his waist, the hand in his and the kiss Cas was placing on his cheek.

"The river is worth it," He said and felt Castiel's arm tighten around his middle. “You are worth it.” Dean smiled and kissed his boyfriends head. They both looked up at a voice calling for them. 

“Cas! Dean? Where are you?”

“We’re on the dock, Gabe!” Castiel shouted. Dean grumbled and held Cas tighter in his arms. 

Gabe came into view around the path, “There’s where you are hiding?”

Sam appeared behind Gabe, “Why are you two out here anyway?” He grumbled, crossing his arms around his middle against the cold. 

“We were having a moment,” Cas told them, sternly. 

Gabe rolled his eyes and Sam shook his head. “Dad says dinner is almost ready.”

“We’ll be up in a few.” Dean told them, kissing Cas again. 

Gabe exchanged a look with Sam, “I told you they were making out somewhere.”

“Did I tell you that’s how I found them when I woke up from my surgery?” Sam told Gabe as they turned away.

“It’s seriously gross.” Gabe patted Sam on the shoulder and they started back up the path to the house, “Well, I’ll tell Dad you said you were coming, but if you are late, I am NOT covering for you this time.” 

“Get out of here!” Cas told them, Dean just sat there smiling at him. He gave his brother a wink as he turned away. It was good to have him back again. 

“Now where were we?” Cas said and Dean’s face down for another kiss.


End file.
